It is the women and children who suffer the most after wars and bloody rebellions. A mere child but already with the experience of several lifetimes. what will happen to all of them – it is gut wrenching, this sadness.
(In the distance,
like a lone corpse in the cremation ground
our town lay burning,
Good Friday,
the day they nailed you to the cross.
Maami, wonderfully written – can’t wait for the next part. I am trying to share this link in FB but I am getting the ‘Copycat’
image – is this intentional?
Is there anything we can do to contribute to the displaced Tamils? Any funds/non-profit groups that you endorse/recommend?
PS – Long time follower in Google Reader, de-lurking now, btw. I love your blog.
(I’m afraid I don’t know anything about facebook, twitter, copying etc. Cheers)
“Like the God Siva who swallowed poison in his blue throat, these warriors wear pendants of cyanide, strung in black threads around their throats, wedded to death.”
Beautiful Simile. Many fractured homes like that exist in the war torn regions of the world. Nice piece and as always I learn something about the craft of writing from your posts.
(Along the shore
a tree, uprooted, falls.
From the topmost branch
touching the water
a bird cries.
Tears freeze in its call.
(If someone could show me once-just once
where the dawn will break tomorrow
I would stand facing the rays
of the rising sun
I would know where the directions lie
and I would tell my children.
Very sad and moving and you captured the emotion very well. I recently met a colleague who was a vietnam refugee.. He escaped with his 2 brothers on a boat and was at sea for 3 days with no food or water until they were rescued. He had stories of his refugee camp as well. He is now an IT developer and works with me. He says he takes nothing for granted.. not even drinking water. Talking to him was a shocking realization of how easy my life has been.
(Where did I come from?
And where do I go?
Those who have sprung from my seed
raise their voices too.
What direction must I face?
Very well written,Maami….. Leaves the reader sad and wet eyed…………
(…
It takes just a moment
to roll away into the depths
of darkness, fear,
uncertainity, confusion.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by maxdavinci, Rathy, Manikandan , Arun, Sudharsan Narayanan and others. Sudharsan Narayanan said: One of the most touching posts, I've read this month! http://maami.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/the-missing #srilanka [...]
(…On Sleepless nights
when your little boy stirs restlessly
screaming out, ‘Appa’
what will you say?
When you pace the night, showing him the moon
and soothing him against your breast,
do not say,
‘Appa is with God’.
Tell him this sorrow continues
tell him the story of the spreading blood
tell him to wage battle
to end all terrors.
deeply touching. human mind at work…..destructive and constructive vectors. history is replete with examples. sad but true. srilankas, somalias, etc all over. and women and children suffer most. while men sometimes escape(?) through martyrdom.
(Even the weaver bird
these days
broods over its eggs
in holes underground.
Because…forgive us
let these at least
survive.
Violence or Non Violence?, Rational versus Emotional, of which I need to go with?? for this reason mankind is crippled with the nature’s gift of sixth sense. History and statistics has taught me to conclude that Non Violence as a tool of mechanism is a failure and will continue to do so. There are many like me who can’t take a stand because of this dilemma.
Nice work of mind and I did have a lump in my throat to some extent.
Mammi have a question? How would you define an Identity?
(I don’t know.In this day and age most would agree that we have multiple identities. Bringing into a single whole usually is under threat or as a defense I’d say.
“The identity of one changes with how one perceives reality” – Jeyaloganathan, Canadian Sri Lankan.)
Ah, that explains it. How did you know I wanted to ask you about the poetry sources ? Can you tell me the name of the book? I’ll see if I can get hold of it.
(The Rapids of A Great River- The Penguin Book of Tamil Poetry)
Few scenes from ‘Kannathil Muttham Ittal’ and ‘Azhagi’ left me with a dry throat for quite sometime. This post brings back that feeling..
(When time and the three worlds
have been cast in a ruinous heap,
when the frenzy has ceased
and a lone splendour has awakened,
then auspicious Siva appears
to quench your terrible thirst.
///As for us, our forefathers landed in a small island we want to call our home but will never be home to us. Unlike the Punjab’s refugee from Pakistan or the displaced Bengali from Bangladeshi, the Lankan Tamils have not found solace in their land of origin///
I appreciate you for the way you narrated it.
I need some clarification. Do you mean that all the lankan tamil migrated from india to lanka. If so you are indirectly supportinhg the cause of sinhala chauvanism.
To you knowledge, Except those people went to work in plantation, all the lankan tamils are the aborigines of that Lanka. Dont try to hide the truth knowingly or unknowingly. The sinhala are the creoles of that isaland. The Sinhalas borne out of the mixture between native aboriginal tamils and settlers from the present day Bihar , Orissa, Bengal.
(I don’t imply that all Lankan Tamils moved from the land base in India alone.)
“The Tamils are a tribe cursed to lead nomadic lives in search of places to call home away from home. Upper class Tamils in India travel to other big cities for livelihood in north India or arrive in droves on American shores seeking a life of comfort. ”
Wow. That one sentence has changed the way I think of my entire cultural history.
Thank you. so so so much.
-Upper Class Tamil who arrived on American Shores.
> The Tamils are a tribe cursed to lead nomadic lives in search of places > to call home away from home
I’m searching for a home away from home, myself .. Madras just isn’t it, not even if I was born here, went to school for two or three years here, and then lived here for the past eight years. Sigh. Something in my horoscope about my being naturally footloose with a taste for travel.
(I know what you mean. Perhaps it’s our restlessness within that keeps us seeking always)
I am leaving a comment so that I’ll get to read one more of those beautiful poems.
(Goddess who dwells in our inmost thoughts, Chinta Devi,
perpetual light of this Sezhunkalai Temple of learning,
you who make my tongue to speak,
first among the heavenly ones,
leader of all earthly beings,
put an end to the suffering that afflicts us all.
-Canto 25, Sattanar)
The most riveting blog entry I have ever read. Left me choked at the end of it all. Oh, what it takes to be able to affect another so deeply with words.
Take a bow, Maami.
P.S. I want one of those beautiful verse too
P.P.S. Read about your hand. Get well soon !!
(‘The days are wasted that we spend
here and not on earth’,
say Visnu and Brahma, ‘where alone
we can attain Siva.’
-Aubade to Siva-Manikkavasagar)
Been reading your blog for a while, but needed to comment today. “converse in whispers, mourn in silence and live in bitterness.” How hard is it for a child to experience this much??? I’m filled with sadness.
And get well soon.
( perhaps like the bard sang , “pudhiyadhorulagam seivom?” thanks)
Took me a couple of tries before I could complete it. Powerful.
I was reminded of a piece (in ‘The Guardian’ I think) I read by a now-40ish- SL Tamil mum in Sydney who wrote of her days in the guerrilla army, and how her girlhood was entirely different from that of her hostelmates in Tiruchi or so where she came later to complete her degree. Now a suburban mum taking her daughters to Bharatanatyam classes, she still suffers panic attacks when the police choppers whirl overhead, reminded of the SL army gunships.
I just spent yesterday at the Grand Prix in Melbourne where a couple of the army’s helicopter gunships did mock passes over the ooh-ing and aah-ing crowd.
And I was scanning the crowd, hoping that there weren’t any SL Tamil or Vietnamese refugees in whom suppressed memories would be kindled.
(I’ve told you this a couple of years ago I think. My sister lives in Sydney and some of her good friends are SL Tamils. There is a sizeable population in your part of the world is it not? If you get a link to that piece you mention, could you forward it to me please?)
Did a quick search, couldn’t find the link, however I recall it was written after the SL army victory and Prabhakaran’s death. The author also, understandably, wrote under a nom de plume.
Yes, quite a sizable number of SL refugees in Sydney and Melbourne who came after the pogrom of July ’83. Very nice and polite people of whom even the second gen speak respectful and grammatically correct Tamil. None of the ‘kalappadam Tamil’ that we Indian Tamils so casually employ.
Speaking to them can be very instructional. I’ll never forget a conv I had in the early nineties with one of them. Brought up as I was on ‘The Hindu’s (one-sided) report of the IPKF engagement, I hadn’t thought there could be another side to the story. I was thus shaken to hear him say that the IPKF was far worse than the preceding Sinhalese army. Forced into an engagement in which they had no real stake, the IPKF’s war crimes (rapes, tortures, wanton brutality) were an aspect we haven’t heard about.
And therefore that may well be the reason behind Rajiv’s assassination-inexcusable as it may be.
Felt really sad reading this.
(Tsk)
empathy n sympathy tat is wat is MISSING in us
(Uh-huh)
very well written…. and a very sad read…
(Hmm)
Wonderfully written!
(Thanks)
Beautifuly written… the emotion and pain so well captured…
(Nandri)
very nicely written…… emotions very well put..
(I try)
(Yes, no?)
Nice post maami. waiting for the conclusion!
(Thanks for waiting)
I am choking! How many Valarmathis out their age even before their time. War and crime have snatched away their right to being children.
(Our son, now at nursery school,
asks me
‘Amma, why do you never lock the back door?
When the front door is open, you say,
Anyone might come in:
lock it, bar it.’
It will be some time
before he understands
why I wait.
And then
he will not ask again.
-Waiting by Maitrayi Sabaratnam)
It is the women and children who suffer the most after wars and bloody rebellions. A mere child but already with the experience of several lifetimes. what will happen to all of them – it is gut wrenching, this sadness.
(In the distance,
like a lone corpse in the cremation ground
our town lay burning,
Good Friday,
the day they nailed you to the cross.
-Days in the Bunker by P.Ahilan)
Maami, wonderfully written – can’t wait for the next part. I am trying to share this link in FB but I am getting the ‘Copycat’
image – is this intentional?
Is there anything we can do to contribute to the displaced Tamils? Any funds/non-profit groups that you endorse/recommend?
PS – Long time follower in Google Reader, de-lurking now, btw. I love your blog.
(I’m afraid I don’t know anything about facebook, twitter, copying etc. Cheers)
Not sure if this is fiction or read but I felt myself choke as I read this.
(…
Only here, in this place,
where my foot sinks,
a handful of dust
wanders with me
and,seeking shade,
burns.
-Desert by Pramil)
“Like the God Siva who swallowed poison in his blue throat, these warriors wear pendants of cyanide, strung in black threads around their throats, wedded to death.”
Beautiful Simile. Many fractured homes like that exist in the war torn regions of the world. Nice piece and as always I learn something about the craft of writing from your posts.
(Along the shore
a tree, uprooted, falls.
From the topmost branch
touching the water
a bird cries.
Tears freeze in its call.
- River by Thirumavalavan)
Amazing..
but my mom’s name is Valarmathi…so was startled reading the first line!
(
)stories of a region that need a voice.
(If someone could show me once-just once
where the dawn will break tomorrow
I would stand facing the rays
of the rising sun
I would know where the directions lie
and I would tell my children.
Directions by Ki.Pi.Aravinthan)
Very sad and moving and you captured the emotion very well. I recently met a colleague who was a vietnam refugee.. He escaped with his 2 brothers on a boat and was at sea for 3 days with no food or water until they were rescued. He had stories of his refugee camp as well. He is now an IT developer and works with me. He says he takes nothing for granted.. not even drinking water. Talking to him was a shocking realization of how easy my life has been.
(Where did I come from?
And where do I go?
Those who have sprung from my seed
raise their voices too.
What direction must I face?
Thisaigal by Ki Pi Aravinthan)
Heartbreaking. It’s so difficult just to read this, I cannot even imagine the pain of those who live this.
(…
Had she not changed again
stone becoming woman
to live like a stone with a stone,
Had she remained truly a stone
she mighth have stood forever,
a mountain peak, undestroyed by time.
-Ahalya by S.Sivasegaram)
Very touching, Maami. Had a lump in my throat
(Sigh)
Very well written,Maami….. Leaves the reader sad and wet eyed…………
(…
It takes just a moment
to roll away into the depths
of darkness, fear,
uncertainity, confusion.
-It Takes only a Moment by Devadacchan)
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by maxdavinci, Rathy, Manikandan , Arun, Sudharsan Narayanan and others. Sudharsan Narayanan said: One of the most touching posts, I've read this month! http://maami.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/the-missing #srilanka [...]
There are times when you surpass even yourself, Maami
(Issh)
touching.
Waiting for the next post.
(…On Sleepless nights
when your little boy stirs restlessly
screaming out, ‘Appa’
what will you say?
When you pace the night, showing him the moon
and soothing him against your breast,
do not say,
‘Appa is with God’.
Tell him this sorrow continues
tell him the story of the spreading blood
tell him to wage battle
to end all terrors.
-Amma, don’t weep by R.Cheran)
so well written.. and really touching..
(Rain kills the poems
loitering at my desk, alive;
walks into the sunshine
disappears
dry rain is merciless
-Untitled by Cheliyan)
deeply touching. human mind at work…..destructive and constructive vectors. history is replete with examples. sad but true. srilankas, somalias, etc all over. and women and children suffer most. while men sometimes escape(?) through martyrdom.
(Even the weaver bird
these days
broods over its eggs
in holes underground.
Because…forgive us
let these at least
survive.
Nowadays by Shanmugam Sivalingam)
Violence or Non Violence?, Rational versus Emotional, of which I need to go with?? for this reason mankind is crippled with the nature’s gift of sixth sense. History and statistics has taught me to conclude that Non Violence as a tool of mechanism is a failure and will continue to do so. There are many like me who can’t take a stand because of this dilemma.
Nice work of mind and I did have a lump in my throat to some extent.
Mammi have a question? How would you define an Identity?
Correction : How would you define Identity?
(I don’t know.In this day and age most would agree that we have multiple identities. Bringing into a single whole usually is under threat or as a defense I’d say.
“The identity of one changes with how one perceives reality” – Jeyaloganathan, Canadian Sri Lankan.)
Had she remained truly a stone
she might have stood forever,
a mountain peak, undestroyed by time.
That’s a lovely poem about Ahalya. I love the responses to everyone.
On another note, it’s interesting that when I think of stone turning into a woman, I only think of Galatea but never Ahalya.
(I never knew of Galatea before this.Thanks.
The extracts shared are by Sri Lankan Tamil poets from an anthology of Tamil poetry)
Ah, that explains it. How did you know I wanted to ask you about the poetry sources ?
Can you tell me the name of the book? I’ll see if I can get hold of it.
(The Rapids of A Great River- The Penguin Book of Tamil Poetry)
I don’t have the words to express how I feel…beautifully written.
(…
At dawn they arrive
with faltering words:
the body isn’t found.
-Pozhudu saayndadu by R Cheran)
[...] at Maami’s weblog, a beautiful (and sad) story is brewing: “I have one [...]
An awesome narration of a disturbing story!
(…Amma,
today they were in great haste
arriving from the south-
Death’s messengers
with their rifles
and their five bullets
-Rajini by R.Cheran)
Few scenes from ‘Kannathil Muttham Ittal’ and ‘Azhagi’ left me with a dry throat for quite sometime. This post brings back that feeling..
(When time and the three worlds
have been cast in a ruinous heap,
when the frenzy has ceased
and a lone splendour has awakened,
then auspicious Siva appears
to quench your terrible thirst.
-Uuzhikuutthu by Subramania Bharati)
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ratzzz: long read but choking nevertheless http://maami.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/the-missing/…
///As for us, our forefathers landed in a small island we want to call our home but will never be home to us. Unlike the Punjab’s refugee from Pakistan or the displaced Bengali from Bangladeshi, the Lankan Tamils have not found solace in their land of origin///
I appreciate you for the way you narrated it.
I need some clarification. Do you mean that all the lankan tamil migrated from india to lanka. If so you are indirectly supportinhg the cause of sinhala chauvanism.
To you knowledge, Except those people went to work in plantation, all the lankan tamils are the aborigines of that Lanka. Dont try to hide the truth knowingly or unknowingly. The sinhala are the creoles of that isaland. The Sinhalas borne out of the mixture between native aboriginal tamils and settlers from the present day Bihar , Orissa, Bengal.
(I don’t imply that all Lankan Tamils moved from the land base in India alone.)
“The Tamils are a tribe cursed to lead nomadic lives in search of places to call home away from home. Upper class Tamils in India travel to other big cities for livelihood in north India or arrive in droves on American shores seeking a life of comfort. ”
Wow. That one sentence has changed the way I think of my entire cultural history.
Thank you. so so so much.
-Upper Class Tamil who arrived on American Shores.
(
)> The Tamils are a tribe cursed to lead nomadic lives in search of places > to call home away from home
I’m searching for a home away from home, myself .. Madras just isn’t it, not even if I was born here, went to school for two or three years here, and then lived here for the past eight years. Sigh. Something in my horoscope about my being naturally footloose with a taste for travel.
(I know what you mean. Perhaps it’s our restlessness within that keeps us seeking always)
[...] January 18, 2010 by maami (continued from The Missing-I) [...]
I am leaving a comment so that I’ll get to read one more of those beautiful poems.
(Goddess who dwells in our inmost thoughts, Chinta Devi,
perpetual light of this Sezhunkalai Temple of learning,
you who make my tongue to speak,
first among the heavenly ones,
leader of all earthly beings,
put an end to the suffering that afflicts us all.
-Canto 25, Sattanar)
seethalai sattanar… Thank you Maami.
> The Tamils are a tribe cursed to lead nomadic lives in search of places > to call home away from home
Applies to Sindhis too. No land for them in India after Partition
Those are beautiful pieces of verse
(Thanks and cheers)
Reaching a bit late.
The most riveting blog entry I have ever read. Left me choked at the end of it all. Oh, what it takes to be able to affect another so deeply with words.
Take a bow, Maami.
P.S. I want one of those beautiful verse too
P.P.S. Read about your hand. Get well soon !!
(‘The days are wasted that we spend
here and not on earth’,
say Visnu and Brahma, ‘where alone
we can attain Siva.’
-Aubade to Siva-Manikkavasagar)
Been reading your blog for a while, but needed to comment today. “converse in whispers, mourn in silence and live in bitterness.” How hard is it for a child to experience this much??? I’m filled with sadness.
And get well soon.
( perhaps like the bard sang , “pudhiyadhorulagam seivom?”
thanks)Took me a couple of tries before I could complete it. Powerful.
I was reminded of a piece (in ‘The Guardian’ I think) I read by a now-40ish- SL Tamil mum in Sydney who wrote of her days in the guerrilla army, and how her girlhood was entirely different from that of her hostelmates in Tiruchi or so where she came later to complete her degree. Now a suburban mum taking her daughters to Bharatanatyam classes, she still suffers panic attacks when the police choppers whirl overhead, reminded of the SL army gunships.
I just spent yesterday at the Grand Prix in Melbourne where a couple of the army’s helicopter gunships did mock passes over the ooh-ing and aah-ing crowd.
And I was scanning the crowd, hoping that there weren’t any SL Tamil or Vietnamese refugees in whom suppressed memories would be kindled.
(I’ve told you this a couple of years ago I think. My sister lives in Sydney and some of her good friends are SL Tamils. There is a sizeable population in your part of the world is it not? If you get a link to that piece you mention, could you forward it to me please?)
Did a quick search, couldn’t find the link, however I recall it was written after the SL army victory and Prabhakaran’s death. The author also, understandably, wrote under a nom de plume.
Yes, quite a sizable number of SL refugees in Sydney and Melbourne who came after the pogrom of July ’83. Very nice and polite people of whom even the second gen speak respectful and grammatically correct Tamil. None of the ‘kalappadam Tamil’ that we Indian Tamils so casually employ.
Speaking to them can be very instructional. I’ll never forget a conv I had in the early nineties with one of them. Brought up as I was on ‘The Hindu’s (one-sided) report of the IPKF engagement, I hadn’t thought there could be another side to the story. I was thus shaken to hear him say that the IPKF was far worse than the preceding Sinhalese army. Forced into an engagement in which they had no real stake, the IPKF’s war crimes (rapes, tortures, wanton brutality) were an aspect we haven’t heard about.
And therefore that may well be the reason behind Rajiv’s assassination-inexcusable as it may be.
(‘Omam’ as they would say
)