According to the Indian Constitution the Indian Woman is God. She has the right to choose whether the unborn foetus in her womb deserves to live or not. It is a choice that many emancipated women in the Western world continue to battle to be allowed to exercise. Christian practitioners debate the sin of abortion, the murder of the unborn live foetus, the life of God that a woman takes upon herself to terminate. Contemporary pro-life activists insist that abortion is inhuman and all embryos deserve a chance to life.
I have never had an abortion. The situation has never presented itself to me. “Helps if you sat on it”, smirks H, lifting her top to show the laproscopy marks around her abdomen as signs of the many foetuses that remained unborn within her because of defects in her womb to carry them safely to birth.
I will therefore speak only of borrowed experience. However, within my limited capacity of empathy and understanding of the multiple choices that women exercise to abort, I can say it’s not a pleasant one. Even those women who chose to abort because they did not have time to have a child; did not want another one too soon; were pregnant as teens or outside of wedlock or they didn’t want to carry the child of a man they did not care to share a life; will agree that it is a searing experience.
I remember landing up one day during work at S’s flat in Nungambakkam High Road. She called me in the middle of work blubbering that she needed to talk and she was on leave from work for the next three days. She was an inveterate smoker, reckless and careless young wife who had had two abortions while she was dating her husband before marriage. Within seven months of marriage, she was pregnant again and the two were not ready to become parents. When I let myself into her quiet flat I found her in bed, eyes swollen, feet resting on a stack of pillows and opening her arms to me, like a baby, to be held. She sniffled into my neck: “Did they cry in my belly because I killed them all? Did they call me Amma? Will I ever bear babies?” Sometimes God and Nature are forgiving and she is now the mother of two darling little girls.
In 1994 the Tamil film Karuthamma was released and tipped to win awards. I met the filmmaker Bharathiraja then and had asked him, “Who and where are such people who abort female foetuses?” After a pause he said ruefully: “Mine own folk; the illiterate and uninformed villagers of my own kith and kin. I felt like blowing the whistle on them”. But we all know it is not something that happens to the lowly and illiterate alone. The horrible statistics piling up on female foeticide and abortions in the fanciest and richest parts of India where educated women and families deciding to murder foetuses because they are female makes you wonder whether it will help Hindu India to convert to a Christian one!
The niggling part is when a pro-abortion country that is grappling with unhealthy abortion practices chooses to put its foot down and turn holy and pro life in the most uncharitable way. The Bombay High Court announced its verdict on August 4 that Niketa Mehta, the pregnant woman whose foetus is 25 weeks old, and has been diagnosed with a congenital heart block, shall live. The Medical Termination of Pregnancies (1971) Act of India prohibits termination of pregnancies after 20 weeks and it’s illegal for doctors to perform an abortion after that. Mrs Mehta went to court hoping that her poor foetus will be spared the cruelty of being born with a congenital defect or moving around with a pacemaker or other life support. The judges have ruled that since there is not enough warning of mental instability or deformity, a congenital heart problem does not qualify for abortion.
I can only see her photo with her face buried in her husband’s chest crying after the judge read out his verdict. She wants to know whether she should have just gone to a quack and not expected medical help in a legitimate manner from a civil society. No learned judge has answered her yet. I have also heard of the pro life argument that just as the disabled have a right to live with dignity and all choices within society so also a defective foetus must run its term and be allowed to birth because it has a right to live. It’s indeed a foolishly brave mother who exercises that choice.
But will any pregnant woman tell me how it feels to cradle a malfunctioning foetus for months within her?
Touching article Maami
I think only those having an uterus should only allowed to discuss and make decisions on these..
your question made me feel very heavy..
(Let every man who floated in a womb come forward to speak up for its safety)
Maami, you’ve touched upon an indeed sensitive subject, there are no rights and wrongs here, since the whole discussion about abortion is influenced by religion, ethics, societal practices, empowerment of women and ofcourse circumstances of the person concerned. I empathise with Niketa on this one.
On the one hand the courts judge most often than not on the basis of the letter of the law, sometimes the need to be humane should be the overall driving force and the case needs to be judged basis the spirit of the law.
How would a lady judge handle/decide on this case is a pertinent question?
(Sad that we have to bank on the gender of a judge)
Cannot she appeal to a higher court? I thought her request was fair enough..
(She could but she needs speedy hearing as the days are running on given her present condition)
Maami, I really do not know if I am qualified to comment, seeing as I have never been pregnant or had an abortion. But in the Mehta’s case, I truly felt sorry for both the parents and their unborn child. There are so many practical questions tobe answered. The court has conveniently sidestepped everything and taken a moral standpoint on the issue. I wonder what the judges would have done if they had been women or had daughters facing such a situation. Sadly, there are no answers.
(Sigh)
It should be the woman’s decision, period. No religion, law or societal pressure ought to dictate the decision for her. At the end of the day when a baby is born with defects, it’s the parents who take care of him/her, not the people who lay out ‘rules’ right?
(nanna sonne di kannu)
pardon my ignorance, but what I am wondering is, why did she file the case in the first place when her own life could be under risk if the abortion is made after 20 weeks.
(Possible some defects show up later. In the first few weeks the foetus is as big as the nail of your little finger.Maternal instincts can propel some women to take undue risks for the well being of her offspring)
Thanks for this post, Maami!
There should be an option to buy insurance for life long medical expenses due to congenital defects. Couples could buy it as soon as they test positive for pregnancy.
No idea how this would change a woman’s feeling if she has to “cradle a malfunctioning foetus for five months within her.” But she may have a little more freedom to act on that feeling.
(No insurance can compensate the horrible feeling I’m sure)
Just read on a newspaper’s website that the decision could have swung against Niketa as a result of a typo in the hospital’s report to the court.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Did_a_typo_swing_Niketa_abortion_case/articleshow/3326577.cms!!
How irresponsible and such a callous attitude displayed by these people!!
(Ha, what more?)
hi maami. i think you got some of your basic premises wrong. the thing is it is not a question of giving life to a foetus but taking it. the foetus is considered alive and similar to a human after some particular period of gestation. so the issue is do women have the authority to take the life of a living almost human?
and the constitution, like any document which delves into philosophy, is highly self-contradictory, judgemental and opinionated. you can’t really cite the exalted position it gives indian women as a reason why it should not take away their choice to abort.
however, in the case of the ruling of the couple, i tend to agree with your opinion. the issue is actually very similar to euthanasia. it is difficult to debate the rights or wrongs of the issue but i tend to side with the parents. seriously, considering the number of such abortion requests, and the number of ways in which lives are being lost otherwise, it seems meaningless to impose such a huge moral, financial and emotional burden on them.
( Tsk, tsk )
Is that why lady justice is shown with her eyes blindfolded?
(I have no answer for that sir)
It’s mostly absurd because it’s only after 20 weeks that many defects show up. Like you pointed out in one of the comments, it’s the size of a thumbnail for most of the first few months. But am just surprised they even approached a court of law. Unless someone was trying to make a statement out of this case. Perhaps it would have been better for them to go in for one of those underground clinics … though it’s dangerous enough given the number of quacks.
I don’t know what to feel for a foetus.. but I do feel very sorry for Nikita.
(In India everyone’s commending that at her vulnerable stage she took the effort to knock on court’s door expecting a civil kind of assistance and you can imagine her disappointment)
I have been too awed by your writing to comment before, though I have always looked forward to your next write up. But I wonder what kind of person the child would grow up to be knowing all his life that his parents never wanted him, and the society gave him the right to live with a handicap, while at the same time, discriminate against him for the same.
( We’d all be happy if the child grows to be a healthy adult who fights with his mum. My fear is what if she/he is born sick with defects and cannot lead a full life?)
Maami.. Very sensivite issue. I think it is a very personal decision, and nobody including the justice system has a place deciding it for them.
But again, there is a generation out there that thinks it is the solution to their frivolous lifestyle and careless sex. That is something I don’t approve of for their own good. Your friend was lucky, that her two or three previous abortions did not affect her later, but I am not sure if that is always the case.
But then, I am rather inexperienced in matters of abortion, so I would never really understand fully.
(As I said she’s been lucky by a long rope)
frankly, i was seething with anger and told M that in India its such a waste taking a legal recourse…
how can people actually sit and make comments about God’s gift etc, when we have NO idea what the whole thing entails… physically, mentally and financially. yeah lets not forget the money, honey!
i don’t think its being pro-life in wanting to bring a child who has little chance of leading a remotely normal life in this world.
and now that they HAVE to have the baby and if she grows up to understand, what will she feel when she reads about the case? will she feel totally rejected and dejected?
i cannot help but believe that it canot be BUT the woman’s choice whether she chooses to have a child or not.
rest can keep their holier than thou attitude and shove it!
arrgghh!
(Ditto lady)
I felt the same angst when I read about the judgement in the morning- does the judge even realize what a trauma it must have been for Niketa to even move the court on this issue?- to go there and ask for your child, one that u have carried for 25 weeks- to be aborted. The choice that she makes is not whether shw wants a healthy baby or not- the choice is whether a child, willingly brought into the world by her,- will he /she live with a permanent disability, who will be able to take care of that disability after the mother cannot- how will the mother bear that trauma? I am sure that things have a way of working out but still its her mother’s instinct that tells her to stop this before its too late.
(Say that again Bee)
MTP after 20 weeks – that’s a very thorny question (in the USA more than in India) especially as the fetus is fully formed enough to be sentient (reacts to sound, kicks etc).
I had my first daughter (well, my wife did) in 1/2005 but well.. we had a good gynecologist and we were careful to check everything .. but as this page explains there’s a lot that you just wont be able to see till the baby is actually born. Several heart defects are not apparent till 18..20 weeks for example.
http://www.sogi.net.au/MintDigital.NET/SOGI.aspx?XmlNode=/Services/Obstetric+Ultrasound/18-20+Week+Scan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Late-term_abortion
Personally, I feel that a child that severely damaged would deserve this mercy which we extend to dogs and horses that are incurably hurt..
Must be said though that a late term abortion is far riskier for the mother as well .. the procedures arent the relatively simple d&c that’s done for an early term abortion
(Thanks for sharing the info)
this issue is so sensitive… it’s funny how the same society that wants parents to give birth to a defective foetus will be the one that won’t let it live in dignity!
It’s not always life and death… many times it is the quality of life.
Great article. Very well written.
(Let the sun shine on the good mum)
(Before I get flamed, let me say I am totally in favour of permitting abortions if the mother desires it and is fully informed of any danger it may pose to her life.)
But, the law in India only allows for abortions if the mother’s life is in danger. The court cannot do anything about imperfect foetuses because the law does not say anything about them. So really, even if the judge was sympathetic, it is outside his purview to do more than the law permits.
Also, I do wonder if permitting abortions of ‘imperfect’ foetuses will only push things further in the direction of ‘designer’ babies.
Medical technologies are only going to make it easier and easier for us to know which foetuses have what problems and potential risks. Combined with legalisation of abortions, I cannot help but worry that this may begin to amount to the same sort of quest for physical perfection that has created all sorts of other horrors in recent human history.
Who is to say people will not kill more and more female foetuses under the claim that the the baby had a ‘problem’? Yes, those who want to do so manage it anyway but I legalising abortions of this sort will only make it worse and more brazen.
I have two physically-disabled cousins and one mentally-disabled niece. Their families do have a very hard time and I worry incessantly about what will happen to them once their aging parents are gone. But I do not think I would want to live in society that detects and kills foetuses not because mother is in danger, but because the child may be born blind or deaf or with crooked limbs.
The answer to our collective inability to deal with disabled children and people should not be to prevent them being born, but to make the world an easier place for them to live in.
(Sorry for going on like this, but as you can see I do feel there are two sides to this – it isn’t only about female empowerment and women’s rights.)
(I agree with your reasoning. We can go further to ask what would we do if a child developed health issues after birth? Would parents kill it? But can fair reasoning compensate the agony and emotion of a pregnant woman told to carry on with her trimesters with a sick foetus in her? If it can, more power to such women.
And ‘but to make the world an easier place for them to live in”?
I’d be happiest to enjoin that endeavour if it can be ensured. )
[...] will be on the child who will later find out that he or she was not wanted in the first place. Maami's Weblog has a post that has a lot of commenters expressing sympathy for the parents, and for the child who [...]
In this age where news that’s online stays online, I really wonder what would happen if Niketa’s child was to find out in the future that she was almost aborted. The mother intended to protect her unborn child but will the child see it that way in the future. This situation is just horrible for the unborn child’s parents.
(That’s a long way off)
A sticky and sensitive issue, no doubt… But my question is, we all know how the law works in our country. This is a place where murderers get away scot free, if they’re some one higher up! This whole issue is so personal, why did she go to court?
If at all she has the baby, lets just pray some renowned surgeon can perform a miracle heart surgery on him/her…
(I’ve heard of such ground-breaking surgeries performed on a few day old babies)
(Ah yes prayers)
maami!
Sorry for the late cut-in. Very touching post and something beyond my levels of intelligence.
I’ve been following the news for the last two days and have some views. I hope you don’t begin to hate me!
1) The law on abortions is imp to save female foetuses.
2) she has a valid point though for she doesn’t want her child to suffer the rigors of a pace maker from childbirth
3) The hospital has confirmed a typo while converting to text from shorthand dictation.
4) churches are now coming in and pointing the ethical stuff. Some church even offered to take care of the child!(who said the child is an orphan! WTF)
5) Some hospital also has offered to bear the pacemaker expenses and the operation
that was a news roundup but then the point is, even though scientifically the child can survive the mother doesn’t want to see her child suffer! I came home last month and picked up some dust allergy, my mom woke up every time I sneezed in my sleep.
Why can’t the media and all the morons get the simple point. It’s not about whether the child will live it about the pain the mother has to endure to see her child int hat situation! This more or less seems to me like a Coup de Grace and should be allowed.
I wanted to take this up myself, but would end up ridiculing it. Thank you maami for this post!
(All ye PYTs over there:Snare this young hound with his heart and head on the right side of ranting women like us before he decides to let his Amma bring him a bride! )
I don’t know maami. There are two words in my mind- Euthanasia and Eugenics. And something in between. Probably it is best if the lawmakers consider it to be a woman’s prerogative. But that introduces a whole lot of problems along with it?
(It’s such a sticky thing, Adi. But if we could evaluate each case on its merits and demerits without the worries of legal precedents)
I personally think that it is totally upto the couple or even just the woman to decide. Carrying a baby for nine months and the pains – physical and otherwise is not funny. Somehow, I’ve always felt even the most educated men do not understand this. I mean, no offence to men. But I dunno if they ever will understand or empathise the trauma during, before and after pregnancy. I’ve never been pregnant, but when I see people around me, I keep thinking: Is it all about the child, as it is most of the times? And what about me? And really, its not like the mother does not love her children. But, somewhere there is a discrepancy, don’t you think?
(Just hope things turn out right for her)
Maami,
A well-written write up on a very emotional subject. I recently ( July 11th) had to watch my best friend go through making toughest decision of her life, to terminate her pregnancy. She was around 18 wks pregnant when they found out that the baby had Dandy Walker Syndrome. I was told that only 1000 babies born all around the world have this freak syndrome. It was not genetic nor anything that my friend did or did not do. The doctors could not tell her how badly the baby would be deformed. Each baby/pregnancy progresses differently in this syndrome. Well, that’s the case with any pregnancy. Sometimes you can’t even tell the extent of the damage till the baby is at least a couple years old. Anyway, she had to decide if she was going to continue with her pregnancy or terminate it before 20 wks. It broke my heart to see her go through this. Having undergone miscarriage myself, i thought i was better equipped to help her through the situation but abortion is nothing similar to miscarriage. This by far the hardest decision any woman can make. To terminate the life of a living being, especially your baby, is not an easy task. I do not want to play God I know they wanted to make sure that there was absolutely no chance that the baby could be born without any defects. My friend had to wait for a week for a Fetal MRI to get that confirmed and just 2 days before the 20th week of her pregnancy, she opted for a MTP. I was there with her through the whole thing and watched her painfully wait to find out if her baby was going to be ok or not. I had seen her go through these bouts of hope and then find her in deep despair for weeks together. I know she wanted this baby to be ok and kept asking me to wake her up from this nightmare. Her ordeal started way before 18 wks. They ran a lot of tests to figure out the issue and during the 18 th wk of pregnancy they narrowed it down to be the Dandy Walker Syndrome.
All, my friend, wanted to make sure was that her baby was going to have a healthy and a happy life. Even people without any disabilities have a hard time making a living and to bring a child into this world with serious disabilities and let them face the difficulties this harsh world had to offer was not something she wanted for her baby. She is happy with her decision, if you want to call it that. She truly hopes that she made the right choice. She will always remember her baby girl for the rest of her life and hopes that her baby is happy and healthy in heaven.
As far as I know no woman makes this decision with pleasure, there is always a compelling reason and she bears the burden of the decision and has to live with it rest of her life. Sorry for rambling so long..I just could not stop.
Geeta.
(Thank you for sharing this.)
Maami
According to the ancient Hindu scriptures, A foetus is a preborn atma in transition between the physical and the astral worlds. He/she deserves every right to live. He/she should be treated on par a normal child and given the choice to live or die. It is the choice of the atma to live or die. There are many cases of foetuses being diagnosed not worthy to live. However and to remarkable naysaying, they have proved their detractors wrong. It is the karma of the atma that determines whether it lives or dies. The karma causes it to work out its predefined destiny and create new ones. We cannot deny a preborn foetus its right to work out its own karma.
With regards
Anon-y-mous
(You know I want to admit something here. At about 17 weeks I was told that my foetus has a chance of Down’s Syndrome-a test that also said it was inconclusive.And a check of the abdominal fluid would rule it out. And I said, “No, I’m talking, singing and telling ‘it’ secrets, my work issues. I can’t drop the baby if I’m asked to later. I just couldn’t. But I cannot tell you the terror, the fear, the restlessness I had until the next scan. It’s a tough call to take, needs support either way)
I have nothing against abortion, but as a mom to a child who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, I can say that you will love your child no less if he/ she is perfect or not. I didnt know my child had a terminal illness before he was born, but would I have considered abortion had I known ? Having enjoyed being his mom for all these years and yes changing our lifestyle to suit his needs, making tons of sacrifices including deciding against having more kids, leaving my job, social life, battling insurances, seeing specialists and more specialists, having no home nursing or family nearby to support, sometimes hanging in a piece of thread when he crashes and we know he can die any minute…. I cant even think of having made a decision to abort my precious child. With all his challenges he is so full of life, yes he has plenty of limitations, but does that make him a lesser child ? No. Every child deserves to live and if we start aborting them because we cant deal with disability or sacrifice our lives and pleasures because we cant find time to take care of them , that proves the moral decay of the society.
(I’m not in disagreement here But if I’m convinced of a place where such children will find assistance after the parents are gone, I’d feel so much more comforted)
feel this women should be helped by the government properly atleast for the reason that she decided to respect law to come to court rather than privately getting things done. rest, its easy to be pittying or feeling sorry for her .. its so hard to imagine her thoughts and her pain
(In the papers today she seems stoical and says she’s going to carry her baby with care whatever be its fate)
As somebody has pointed out, it is unfair to blame the judge when the law is unambigously clear.
The tone of several of the comments tends towards a “WTF is a guy doing adjucating on a woman’s right to carry a kid” tone.
The law in India is pro-choice, ALREADY. Eugenics and selective female foeticide issues notwithstanding. So pro-choice vs pro-life is NOT the issue here.
The law against late-term abortions, exists for the protection of the mother. Emotionally clouding the issue does not do justice to either the law or the court. Yes, this case does highlight a lacuna in the law.
Highlighting the issue in a manner that potentially
(a) puts the mother at risk and
(b) (as has happened) leads to the kid being carried to term
is a strange call to make, to say the least.
Getting the MTP done while some semblance of safety exists, and lodging a PIL would have been a more defensible action.
(Mothers can display amazing courage. Let’s hope she does too)
I was thinking about this issue this whole morning, the ethics of it and all. Then decided to google partial birth abortions, which is what is performed beyond 20 weeks. This
is the procedure and I cannot deal with it.
I cannot see that happening to a fetus, baby, whatever you call it. Is this procedure really worth fighting for?
(How does it feel to give birth to a baby with a face like the moon and a body of butter?
I know, I have
How does it feel to take the baby, 14 days old, to a neo-natal ward with issues?
I know, I have
How does it feel to see your cherub stuck with needles and tubes and ventilators?
I know, I have
How does it feel to be told your infant will die?
I know, I have
How does it feel to howl, your breasts weeping milk, in a hospital corridor full of strangers?
I know, I have)
Maami
yor article is on a very sensitive and emotional issue.when i saw the photograph of Nikita and her hubby in newspaper and read the judgment of Court,i was stunned and could not think any oyher thing. We have read that Law is blind but is it so much blind?
(Hmmm)
Soul stirring, Maami!
I will probably never be able to empathise enough with Mrs. Mehta in her pain. The pain of having to take the grueling decision in the first place and now the pronounced agony of having faced utter disappointment. Not to mention, the excruciating pain of having to watch her child grow up with a congenitial illness, not knowing when it is to end! The child also has a lot to endure. It certainly is unimaginable for mere mortals like me. The child will also be a huge financial burden on the parents. I think, it is time to draw the line and clearly define the roles of the judiciary and the individual in making such decisions.
But I also agree with everyone above, who’s mentioned the future abuse of the law, contributing to the already escalating female infanticide, under the pretext of congenital ailments. The lives of physically and mentally challenged people are difficult, but isn’t it our responsibility as part of the society to make their lives less burdensome? They are just as capable of accomplishments as the rest of us. Hence the term “Differently abled persons”.Who gives us the right to end the life of an unborn child who is entitiled to a life, regardless of whether it is going to be a healthy child or an unhealthy one?
I guess the moral debate will continue to rage for quite sometime. I just hope the Mehtas and all parents facing similar situations are justly compensated for all that they have had to endure so far.
P.S.: I’d say, hang that stenographer whose “minor clerical error”, as the hospital sources termed it, was the cause of the whole storm. Was she so drunk that she coudln’t understand her own shorthand scrawls? If it wasn’t for her idiocy, the parents wouldn’t have to go through all this!
(I’m sure the stenographer will be back at work without a care!)
Maami-
I am really crying as I type this,maami .I cannot believe how hard it must be for a mother to take a decision like this,and if she is taking one -what lead her to taking one like this?How much of thought she would have put on this?
Like many people pointed out it may be very hard to ensure that there are no issues terminating a pregnancy after 20 weeks,even if some doctor had decided on doing it,but if Nikita went to the extent of trying it then it must be because she really did not want her baby to suffer.
As a mom,it is so hard to see your kids get a cold or a cough that keeps them awake at night,I really cannot imagine what Niketa will be going through now.
Terribly disturbing maami!!Never had faced a situation like this before….but just like every mom I was really worried until the ultrasound /blood tests came out perfect.
Ayyo-God really needs to give her so much courage.With her currentstate and her due to deliver very soon,I am terribly worried if the baby will be born(hopefully recover with a surgery) and later question the mom’s decision to go to court.
(What gripes me is the agony of being foretold to carry a child in you with issues-That’s so damn hard, you can’t see it, you can’t touch it)
Just an aside from the main subject …
“Hindu India to convert to a Christian one” ?? :O … are we not Secular India,the land of amar singh,Lallo Yadav,M Karunanidhi,Muslim League,Akali Dal,RSS ??
(As in majority is Hindu pa)
Horrid situation for any parents to be in. Heartbreaking in both cases. I just hope that since the Mehtas are going to have the baby that its problems are less than anticipated. Let’s hope for a miracle for them.
(Absolutely)
Maami
A very close friend of mine went through a similar situation in Singapore a decade ago. She was in a dilemma as to whether she should keep the girl baby or abort it because the child had a serious heart condition.. She was more than 20 weeks into her pregnancy. The hospital gave her a few days to make up her mind. Her husband felt it was better to abort but left it totally to her to either go ahead with the pregnancy or not. She discussed with us, her friends, about the pros and cons of keeping the child and leaned towards having an abortion. Even as an onlooker those three days were absolute hell. Still undecided, she went for a check up as she felt that the baby was not moving and found that the baby had died in her womb. It was very tragic, as they had to induce labour and make her deliver the foetus as abortion was ruled out since the baby had already died. She was ridden with so much guilt later, because she felt that the baby had died since she did not want it, and so took the decision out of her hands. Women — what we go through…
(Oh dear, that was sad)
great post.. am linking up to mine – .. and err.. to repeat what another said.. Hindu India?
(thanks and er, I’ve responded to that)
Max late cuts well.
Ultimately, as so many readers concur, it ought to be the exclusive decision of the woman or the couple.
Our prayers go out to Niketa.
(yes sir, prayer time it is)
[...] about it. I also read a few blogs with different opinions on the topic (Mad Momma, Soumya, Maami, [...]
That was a very sensitive topic dealt admirably well! That was awesome.
Yes, a mother has rights more than anyone else in the world to decide on the future of her kid till the kid reaches the age understand him/herself and the world around. (assumes the mother is sane and her decisions are in the interest of the kid) No one has rights to interfere not even the law.
I am sure Niketa and her family will not be able to cherish those moments, which could have easily become the most beautiful moments of their life if everything had gone well. Will the hardhearted gentlemen understand this?
(Let’s hope for the best for her)
A very touchy topic…but I don’t see where the law has to interfere in such matters? In the case of N, will the court take care of the child, should it be born with the said heart defect? Will it ferry the parents to and from the hospital and take care of all the emotional issues that the parents will have to undergo with a sick child?
Quiet a dilemma for the woman always…have u noticed how the men, clearly steer themselves away when such a decision has to be made, leaving the woman to decide and then feel guilty as hell?
(Hmmmm)
ok.. after going through all the comments and some of your responses, i have learnt my first lesson on the blogosphere. when the post is serious, and it concerns women, it ain’t a good idea for people with permafrost hearts such as myself to comment. in short, i regret my earlier comment.
[...] 6, 2008 by sandsrandomramblings Reading Mad Momma’s, Maami’s Weblog, Vatsap & Lekhni’s notes on abortion triggered by Niketa & Haresh Mehta’s case [...]
I didn’t read all the comments…
I had to terminate (nice euphemism) 2 pregnancies before I had my two children. With the first, we had already named her Maya, and were completely in shock when we were told by the doctors (the best at UCSF) that she would not survive even a few hours after birth. She had two chambers in her hert, her heart and stomach were on the right side of her body, she had no spleen…I could go on. But inside me, she was fine, since I was taking care of her. It was miserable- I had just started to feel her move and kick. We talked to doctors, parents, friends, prayed, went to the temple, everything…and then decided to let her go at 22 weeks. I underwent the procedure on Sept 11, 2001. A miserable day to die.
The doctors had said that there was no genetic reason for the problems and that this was a fluke, could never happen again, so I got pregnant again, and found out at 11 weeks that the baby had fluid in its lungs and encephaly, and was going to die in utero. Another congenital defect, another fluke. Just two in a row. We chose to terminate again, at 13 weeks, Feb 13, 2002. I went home from the hospital and tried to kill myself. Can you believe it? Swallowed every pill I could get my hands on. My sister, who was with us at the time, realized something was wrong and got to me before things went beyond control.
So, what’s my point? It is not easy making a decision to terminate a life. It is gut wrenching, and you will never know what your decision will be until you have to go through it yourself. Never. So those of you that have never had to go through it, count yourselves lucky.
(Oh P! I’m so sorry. No woman who chooses abortion finds it easy. As for those who want to bring forth a child with their partners into this world and are told to drop it, it’s so, so tough. And some portion of her heart and soul dies when a woman goes ahead with that abortion for the larger interest of bringing a healthy infant into the world.
P.S:I feel I’d like to meet you and have a drink someday. On days like these I feel I’d rather not. We’d end up like little girls, lifting frocks above our knees,rolling sleeves back, and smarting over our nicks, cuts, scars and wounds.)
great post maami, and heart-rending comments too.
thanks to blogs like these men like me get to see the view from the other side.
guess i can do nothing more than shed a tear.
(thanks)
Maami, a great post.
I just have a question.
What guarantee is there that a perfectly developing foetus, going full term, and delivering, may not have problems, when the child is older ? Do I see society in an uproar over lack of facilities to such children, medical and otherwise ?
I think I probably belong to a generation before yours , agewise. Maybe I observe things differently. Have had occasion to deal with death of a until-then-perfect child a couple of months after birth. Have assisted families with differently abled children, and have personal experience of adopting a child without any high tech genetic testing being conducted on her.
I see families who went through this kind of birth trauma, and didnt know that rushing to court was a an option. They are richer for going through the experience of caring for the child, and wouldnt think of any other way that things could have happened.
The human body is an amazing piece of design. No amount of technology has been able to replicate the qualities of the uterus. The foetus at 24 weeks still has several weeks to develop, and maybe, right some of its developmental wrongs, at least partially. And I think this child needs to be given a chance to live.
I dont know about law and technology moving mountains, but faith certainly does.
(Let’s hope faith heals)
Obviously, this is a farce. I think the law needs to be explicitly clear about the fact that a baby is 99.95% a woman’s effort, and even if society has to pass any sort of judgement on what one should and should not do with an unborn foetus, it should be a jury of women who should be judging this issue, and not a single male judge.
There have been endless arguments over the issue of when a foetus becomes a human being, but leaving emotions aside, it does not make any logical or legal sense to consider a baby a human being till it’s breathing outside air and crying. Cruel and heartless, it may sound, but any other definition eventually leads to a situation where a woman does not have control over her own body, and that is plainly ridiculous. Imagine the consequences if somebody starts the Holy Church of The Gall Stone and Appendix and it becomes popular. Jokes apart, here is another extreme future possibility arising from this slippery slope of the law not being precisely clear about the amount of control a woman has over her body. Lets say we have a baby shortage (sort of like in the movie Children of Men). Couldn’t some judge pass a law that requires women to stop taking any sort of period-suppression or contraceptive pills?
(In China the one-child policy had led to terminations under the glare of the state. Erm, I’m off KA, to stock up on pills. You’ve frightened me!)
If I ever make it to Chennai (hard now, since all my cousins moved away to Bangalore), I will take you up on that drink!
(And we shall only drink to the merits of Clooney’s and Pitt’s exact areas of um, intellectual capabilities)
nice article. your question at the end really sounded cruel. as a woman u r expected to know. if u do not know, ur expected to keep quiet. ofcourse, u need not fulfil everyone’s expectation.
(You did get it then? Thanks)
I have to agree with KA i.e “it does not make any logical or legal sense to consider a baby a human being till it’s breathing outside air”. Trying to assign some sort of identity to it from a legal standpoint (and thus act to protect its rights) before that moment immediately takes us into a taking away rights from the another human being, the mother. And of course, you also get into highly subjective arena of the subjective moral side – when does it warrant that identity from the legal standpoint – when egg and sperm unite? when it develops a head? etc. etc.
Now morally one may pass judgment on having an abortion – that is no different from other moral judgments people pass on each other, but trying to get this from a legal perspective? That is overreaching because for that the baby would need an independent identity for laws to apply – wouldn’t it? Just thinking out aloud …
Arun
(The laws of the land apply to the foetus in gestation after a certain number of weeks.According to the law books abortion after a particular number of weeks, that varies from country to country, is considered murder. Hence it remains a contentious issue.)
Aiyo, I landed here after all that there is to be said has been. Why doesn’t the law and society expect the parents to decide what is best for the child they made? Especially when they are educated, sane and fully conscious?
I truly hope the problem is solved for her by the foetus deciding to take matters under control. Reminded of that song from Sindu Bhairavi:
en vidi appode terinjirundale
garpathil naane karainjirupene.
(Someone has suggested prayers here)
I empathize with Niketa Mehta. The price she has to pay for approaching judiciary rather than quacks seems to be very high! Hope higher courts rule in her favor.
(It’s too late to appeal)
Pro Choice era
Wonder if some of the girls
even get that choice
- Haiku
(Thanks for this)
A clear definition is pending from the lawmakers on this issue, and no wonder the current debate in the news has taken this predictable course.
In my humble opinion, the woman should have full control over whether or not to abort the baby, at any stage before birth. Once the baby is born, any termination/abandomnent of the newborn on the grounds that it has been born with defects, can be considered murder or conspiracy to murder.
I wouldn’t know what I would do had I been in such a situation where I am giving or taking a life. I guess we should start looking at new-born babies as raw material for our societies, and trust me, I am trying to make this opinion sound as humane as possible, while still being practical.
There is naturally much sentiment associated with motherhood (and fatherhood) and I would be second guessing myself if I were to make a judgment outside of the purview of prevailing laws.
(Many a time the right answers evade you even after you turn into a parent)
Maami..
I just wrote on the same issue.. Im so angry on behalf of Nikita…she made a decision and to have it decided on the basis of chance is saddening and completely devoid of any emotion towards the mother, I wonder if any member of the court ever had to make an agonizing decision of ending your Childs life.!!
(Some of us get raw deals in life)
Hi Maami,
if we choose to terminate babies which have congenital heart disease, we sorta step into the “eugenics” domain. Don’t get me wrong, this is very much akin to what hitler used to practice by killing jews. Instead of natural selection, we r pretty much changing the way evolution is happening.
Some of the geniuses have been born with one defect or the other. Even leonardo da vinci was supposed to have had epilepsy. That didn’t stop his creativity.
I’m sure the kid which will be born will have his/her own qualities which will contribute to the society.
(Let’s hope your words ring true and the child turns into a genius)
Why should the woman have to decide all the time? But then, it is HER body, right? But again, isn’t the decision making as much a torture as the actual abortion? If not more?
What a hopeless situation to be in. I am so sorry some people have to go through it.
(I’m reminded of Bharathi’s poem, “Aridu, aridu maanudarai pirathal aridu” )
as far as i know, HC consulted experts who said that there are very little chance that child will develop any serious problem….so what’s the point of killing a child ?
Also, what if a normal born kid develops a serious ailment….would they want to get him/her killed too ?
(Her foetus/baby is dead now)
I had already posted my comment on how it should be pro-choice in the case of Ms.Mehta on a different blog. She must have gone through sheer hell while the case was going on. The unrelenting media and all our opinions. She must be suffering now that she miscarried and relieved!
And so true, she must have thought through the agony of the case that she should have gone to a quack! Why have medical advances if we are not allowed to act on the diagnosis?!
(Did we all shout too much and upset her child?)
Maami,
Hope you read this.
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/abortion-case-niketa-suffers-miscarriage/71170-3.html
(Hmm, padichen)
Pro Life arguments are like men talking about being raped. Technically a man can never be raped by a woman and any talk about rape and how one should cope up with is all a crock. Nevertheless the point i was trying to make was that i personally am affected by “Cerebral Palsy” at birth.
Just for the sake of argument lets say CP can be detected before birth (although it never can be) and if at all my mother had a choice or leave my mother alone, i had a choice. I would have certainly decided not to come to this perfect world as an aspect of imperfection, not it my wildest dreams.
As a physically challenged person i find life quite pointless most of the time, since i’m always competing against better things, better people, better platforms and better everything and in every possible way. It’s quite an unfair game to play and many a times its not worth it.
If pro-life means willingly bringing someone into the world with problems and making them go through hell like every moment of their life, kudos pro-life activists. Indeed you guys are pro-life-wrecking-pain angels.
It takes one moment to realize pro-life is all fucked up. All you have to do is just for one day, one day, hold an arm crutch and walk around public places and interact with people and try and meet some nice girls (guys if you are a woman) and you will get to know how close you are to the term “impossible” every moment of your life.
Boy or Girl, Abled or Disabled, its a bloody woman’s business when she wants to have a kid. I don’t see anybody dictating when men can masturbate and not to, i wonder why the same liberty not given to the women. After all the uterus is hers and the pain of labour is hers too, ain’t it?
(Amen)
Very sensitive & touching subject. Now I wish Niketa has a full term healthy baby.
PS: Irony is when she delivers full term healthy baby, the verdict stands to be correct
which is not correct .
(Let’s wish her better)
Just came by here from Usha over at Agelessbonding.
Yes deciding to go trough with an abortion is very difficult. Along while ago, I was pregnant–and that too carefully planned pregnancy. Within a week of knowing I was pregnant–maybe 6 weeks pregnant–I got German measles. You may be aware that German measles always causes problems in the foetus. So everybody, including various doctors and even my own mother, advised an abortion. I fought and cried. But finally went through with it. It was a very difficult decision. It was for the best maybe, more so as I have a son who has a physical disability and had many problems even then. Besides after that I had 2 more wonderful children. But it was an awful time. So it is defintely something that is entirely upto a woman to decide.
(Welcome.Thanks for sharing this)
hi,
interesting post indeed…….i however do have a question for you…..had not for medical science’s development i doubt wether nikita mehta would even knw the condition of her foetus?……would she thn seek abortion?….or happily await the baby……deciding what life the baby shall have is not in da hands of a doctor a mother or anyone as a matter of fact it is in the hands of the almighty……..as per the medical reports of only her private doctor the foetus could have a heart deffect.. as per the other 2 medical reports conducted by medical proffessionals the same is debatable they stated that the chances of such impariment are “least likely” its very easy to post something without knowing the facts of a particular judgement………now if u want to argue on moral grounds yes lady you are right morally it makes sense only n only when there is 100% sureity in this case however it is debateable….n if she wanted the court to decide she got a decission other then that she should have gone n done wat she thought was morally correct…….oh wait a min she already did it!!….
I may be the original puritan – I am totally opposed to abortion. In my opinion, the time for choice is before intercourse. Abortion is murder. And this applies within marriage as well. That’s what empowerment is about – being able to say no.
Those of you who followed the case know the mother had a natural miscarriage. Nature usually does this to the unviable. It’s called survival of the fittest. In the days before such diagnoses were available, she would have had the child or it would have miscarried and no one would have been any the wiser beforehand in either case.
In these days of assisted conception, many embryos are arrested before they become foetuses. It is hard to feel for a mass of cells in a petri dish, but remember, those cells are your genes, and some of them may end up in stem cell research if you don’t assert your responsibility for them.