To-Let:Brahmins Only
March 27, 2008 by maami
“We are Brahmins, so you’ll have no problem”, Amma flashed a wide pandering smile at Mrs.J.
We had left Bangalore for Madras to pitch tent ”permanently”. We went on to rent a small pad with a terrace from Mrs.J in Mandavelli on a secluded lane called Sambandam Street. The landlady had a small notebook paper stuck on a cardboard that swung on the gate of her house. It simply said in black ink:’To Let, BRAHMINS ONLY’.
I was too young and ignorant to find anything odd about a community, that applauds itself for its First World thinking, progressive ideals and to move with the times, to be blase about advertising rentals in such a segregational manner. And in the1970s and early 1980s Madras, the community was still smarting from a bur on the flesh for the angry sloganeering, insulting grafittis and ideological political marginalisation that were insinuating and exasperating. The practice of keeping away other community people from renting their homes was probably the last vestige of untouchability that would serve to prove the exclusivity they claimed and proclaim their silent infuriation. Of course, the pious party-line in public was that the kitchen, that often housed a small shrine for the Gods, should not be polluted by the cooking of blood, bones and flesh and it was vegetarianism that was the real reason behind the reservation.Whichever.
Many years passed and much water had dried on the Cooum River bed. Times had changed, old battles had passed on to newer ones and we were “wery madern’ and ‘politically affirmative’. The new acronym that had entered drawing-room discourse was an indication of that. It was muttered under the breath or mentioned amongst their own. The new term used was, ”Avalaam“ while referring to a particular sari, a tradition, a taste, a habit or a characteristic.
And then there came a time when Amma and Appa retired into a small flat looking out to the Bay of Bengal on the East Coast Road. It meant that our house and an old flat were up for rent. The flat was not a problem. Friends, neighbours and acquaintances claimed it for rent. Between a Mangalorean Rao, a Saurashtrian Brahmin and a regular old Mylapore family as tenants, the flat remained, “unsullied” and “unpolluted”.
The house, though, remained an issue. While Appa squirmed silently and looked at me guiltily, Amma announced that he place an advertisement in The Hindu.
“Brahmins only”, she insisted it be worded in the advertisement.
I pulled my knife out.
She acted haughty.”I am very modern, but you see, the house shares a compound wall with a temple and if the tenants chuck pieces of bones and meat and all, it will pollute and descecrate the temple”, she reasoned.
Appa, ever her noble protector, negotiated for free-will:”It’s her house. I gave it to her as a gift.”
Aargh. I went snogging out on the beach with my ”Avalaam” boyfriend and it tasted sweeter than any panchamritham prasadam that Amma would have brought home.
But I digress. Back to Amma’s approved tenants.
The first left within a year to Muscat. They vacated the house after breaking the toilet, shattering the glass-case and leaving the concrete broken in the garage.
The next didn’t pay up rent regularly.
The third, an advertising executive, phoned in and complained of ‘Amai’ (tortoise) entering the garden. Complained that it was a ‘bad omen’ and ‘aathukku aagadu’ and left.
With his deteriorating Parkinson’s and the frequency of shifting tenants, on his last leg of sanity, Appa sold both the homes before he passed.
Have things changed today? Slowly and reluctantly, the last vestiges of exclusivity are dropping. Amma’s youngest and most orthodox and traditionalist brother has rented his flat in Palayamkottai to a Muslim family from Pathamadai. He resists eating off their plate, but finds his tenant has endeared himself to the family.
I hate to admit to smugness, but bereaved and distraught, Amma didn’t object this time to the new meat-eating tenants who now reside in her flat.
Hmm.. so true. I can see your amma’s problem. I have many ‘avaalam’ friends, some as close as siblings, but there are times I often feel the same way your amma did, but I think it is really more to do with vegetarianism than anything else. For all that, my family is modern my most tambrahm standards.
(Despite my defiance, I’m my Amma’s daughter.It has taken me five years of marriage to allow meat to be cooked in my kitchen)
Our apartment complex shares a kutti sevaru with a temple and it so happened that during construction/for sale period, our potential neighbour was a muslim. He had taken a liking to the place but in the end did not buy it.
His reason : The toilet is facing the temple and I do not want to be in any ways desecrating the sanctity of the place.
I dont know if that was the reason but ever since that day, every time I go to the toilet I am reminded of him; why didn’t anyone else in the bram/hindu community get that ideannu?
(If only we could evaluate people on little acts of kindness and mercy)
I have lived all my pre-marital life in an apartment in Chennai surrounded only by ‘avalaam’ people.
Weekends meant weird?(read…..kudal puratting) smells emanating from our neighbours’ kitchens,being witnesses to the bargains ,’Rosy aunty’ made with the fish-mongers,friends from our complex gathering around for weekend play but in turn diverting to discuss their amma’s special eral poriyaal’ etc etc..and yes…when ammaappa move over closer to their siblings to another part of chennai…we had indeed rented it out/are still renting it out to brahmins only.
I agree with Rekha that it really was difficult to taste lunch from your friends’ boxes not because they were avalaam,but just because yday those boxes carried some ‘flying/walking/swimming’ varieties,yeah….call me conservative…but it is still so hard for me to not show a pigface when I know ‘this person’ has eaten meat for lunch.I had previously many a time before tried to explain vegetarianism to him but now have just restricted it to ‘pls dont eat beef/steak atleast’,cos its Gomatha for Me……..
Final word- I dont think we can say ‘to-let brahmins only’ in these days,maybe advisable to say ‘to-let veg-eaters only’!!!!
(‘Veg-eaters’ is fine if it does not exclude a Vellalar or a Saiva Pillai tenant;and Vedic Brahmins were meat-eaters?)
Different place, different “avalaams”, same problem. We were trying to sell our home in an all-white enclave (somehow, we, as Indians, were found acceptable) in a southern state of the United States. A lovely black couple came to see the place - we liked them very much, they loved the home…but oh, the consternation and indignation among our neighbours!! One after another they dropped into our home that evening, citing “drop in real estate values”, “change in neighborhood make-up” and other such elegantly couched phrases for their blatant racism. I hoped and prayed the black couple would buy the place just to teach everyone a lesson, but, whatever their reasons, they chose to buy another place.
When will we ever change? Really, truly change?
Kamini
(Ah yes yes. Notice how we bristle when the status quo is challenged abroad by the vellakaran?)
learnt a new word today “Avalaam”…..
Have never had this feeling before and were always taught as kids never to discriminate. But after 4 yrs of engg all the so-called-aacharam went for a toss as we ate from the same plate n used the same spoons. I hope i’m not generalizing too far, but frm personal exp bram-guys seem a lot more chilled out when it comes to certain things….
(Well then, you are invited to dinner at my place-off my bloody plates though
We rented our place for the longest time, almost 20 years. Initially we did the brahmins only routine. In the last few years, I urged my mom to relax it a bit and she did. She was worried about the smell, and I said it can’t be much different from having neighbors who eat everything. So we got over it. My only issue, nowadays is being in the same room when someone is eating fish.
(That predicament seems familiar)
My family as Tam-Bram as they come and although I have never outgrown the inability to eat any meat or fish, I lived in a country where snails and frog legs were the most special delicacies you could lay hands on. Friends who came home for meals would eat heartily at my table and then set out to look for “real food” therefore coaxing me very soon to learn to cook meat and fish for them. My sister still squirms at the thought, my younger brother relishes that stuff when he comes visiting, but the fact that I handle “maamsam” and “meen” has been carefully kept from my mother, who might refuse me entry into her kitchen if she knew.
(Iru, iru, I’m squealing to your Amma rightaway!)
I second Max Davinci here. I have a lot of non-brahm friends. We never have had a problem eating from the same plate or sharing the same drink, and it is the same with most of my tam brahm friends - even the ones who don’t eat meat.
(You know why we maamis take long to adopt new habits?
Wilde said:”All women become like their mothers;that’s their tragedy.No man ever does;that’s his.
Are you a Tam-Brahm hater?
(I’m into self-loathing.I don’t hate anybody. As one who enjoyed the benefits of being born into a privileged community, I’d like to be introspective about how there is room for refinement)
In Mylapore & Mandaveli, people are like that only…….
“To Let - for veggies only” is acceptable I guess especially in a small building where the other owners / tenants are all veggies. Besides, as a flat owner, while I may be against such exclusivity, and liberal in outlook, I may perforce have to favourably consider such requests from the office bearers of the building society in the larger interests of amicable relationships both for the tenant and myself, to avoid unnecessary conflict.
(I shall send Amma to visit you; you’ll be the son she always wanted)
Aha, Kontroversy KaLapping postaa? Verrry good.
Liberal and outside-home-carnivore that I am, I gotta admit to being a big fat hypocrite. I squirm when someone brings meat into the house, worried about who will thekkufy paththu and thoora podufy yellu and gillu.
One tight slap from a carnivorous significant other will do the trick I think.
(It takes time to let the creepy crawlies in. And a good velakari to do the dirty dishes.For proof, ask Mrs 23.Staunch vegan by principle,ahimsavadi, kind and compassionate.And guess what louve did to her?)
Maami, we must have surely crossed paths. I spent many a summer vacation in one of the houses on the lane perpendicular to Sambandam st.
I’m unperturbed in multi-cuisine eateries sharing tables with friends who eat meat. But the house is strictly a no-meat zone. Though the TV is well inside the house I don’t squirm so much when I watch cookery shows. Hypocritical, na?
(You must have been just born then and all those ravis and sundars in three houses in a row? That’s the lane)
We lived in one of the two compounds housing brahmins in a street full of Pillais and Mudaliars. ( Nana Rao naidu Street off Venkatnarayana Road in mambalam) So even as children we saw how strict they were about vegetarianism and the hours they spent in earnest prayers and how clean their houses were. So this brahmin/ non-brahmin divide never meant anything to us. Until my grandmother came to live with us. She had problems with me sharing pickles with them and would want to know if they were brahmins. And they had to be served water in specific tumblers. One saw a lot more of it this strict adherence to acharam in west mambalam and mylapore.
Actually anda madiri board pota discrimination illayo - legal a courtukku polamo?
( Naan edavadu Prestige Padmanabhan maadiri legal-a solla poi indha Mr. no 22 kitendu thittu vanganuma?
Revulsion against eating meat is in deeper consciousness of not only some tambrams but also many non-Indian friends of mine. It is not as simple as Brahmin/Non-Brahmin issue. Culturally and spiritually non-meat eaters by choice are very different. Accepting meat in the kitchen is equivalent to letting an innocent animal be tortured and killed in your premise and implicitly accepting the deed as life style. Respecting the wishes of compassionate people and their way of living is not equivalent to tolerating exclusivity of privilege (what privilege?).
In India, one’s home is a sacred place especially for those who grew up in agraharams. It is not yet another apartment in a concrete jungle. So even when you rent it out, your values are still attached. But the exclusion should also apply to born Brahmins who will take delight in throwing the lobster into hot water. The exclusion is similar in practice while renting a California home to someone who smokes. Try renting a home/hotel room/car with Marlboro in hand!
I have eaten from small outlets in TN villages (remember ‘Brahmanaal Cafes’ until early 80s?) with pure vegetarian menus to Munich’s Hofbräuhaus (Hefeweizen, Sauerkraut, pretzel and pommes frites…) with equal ease. But my home’s sanctity has never been violated. I don’t want to take fun out of this blog, so hey here some even keep the work place clean and smelling good
: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/27/fashion/27vegan.html?_r=1&ei=5090&en=6aaa781967650c72&ex=1364270400&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1206732770-yF+a3eDXE83pyAct3LYCtQ
(Your home’s sanctity theory finds a fan in my mother
This is super!
(Will someone publish this in an esteemed broadsheet like you know where ?
Good post Maami.
Enjoyed the comments a lot too. (Bikerdude - I echo urs)
One additional reason why we(TBs) did the ‘Veggie only tenants’ is that if we rent to other carnivorous ‘aggressive’ people, we may end up loosing the house (may be forever)
Renting to Brahmins or to brahmin-like castes will mitigate this risk significantly since they are not expected to be adept in Kattai Panchayathu/Rowdyism etc.
One more example of TBs’ passive survival techniques - you know it takes a lot to survive and prosper in such an openly hostile environment!
My 2 cents……..
(Dnnno!Et tu Vazhi?Neenga yellam yen Ammavoda friends-a?.
Is there a communication gap? Tambrahm kids from Bombay or for that matter upmarket Adyar and Sterling Road eat meat. But their own parents would be sticking up ‘Brahmins only’ advertisement on their homes and matrimonial.
Once we understand the gap that is formed in transitioning to ‘Avalaam’, I think we’ll wash ourselves off those double standards…
(Aye, aye)
Been a while since I left Singapore, however try living in those high rises and braving the smells of “parakkaradhule plane-ai thavira, modhakkaradhule kappal-ai thavira” being posukkified/avicchified/varutthufied in the Chinese homes as you sprint to your apartment at the far end of the corridor.
Enough to turn the most devout of non-veggies into a thayir breathing vegetarian.
In fact there’s a theory that the hole in the ozone layer is caused by the smell of Chinese/Vietnamese cooking, but I digress.
(Also those Bangkok markets selling rambutans and frogs side by side. My sis rented a place from a Namdari Sardar while she lived there. “They are also vegetarians”, she explained.)
I was amused to read comments predominantly by TamBrams. This one is from a KoBra (Konkan Brahmin)
Yes I eat anything that moves and No I haven’t tasted a cobra.
(Hissssss!)
Our Mylapore house we shall rent
To any devout Brahmin family or gent
But a modern meat - eating Hindu
Who loves his pork vindaloo
We cannot accept as our tenant.
(Ammaaa, vun pullai vandaachu!)
Tangential, as ever.
My daughter (four years old) wants to know what a “Brahmin” is. And I find that the second most difficult question to answer, the first being “Is there a god?”. We are a strange family - an aethist husband, a pious wife and a thoroughly confused kid. Neither mom nor dad can answer the question without indoctrinating her into their own belief.
(Brahman:one who has transcended self-easy to identify;difficult to find! Same as God. Er, do you rent?)
hi, you seem to be sincere in appraisign the failings of the brahmin community. However, it is a folly to believe that ‘avallam’ are all perfect. I mean, I can appreciate that you questioned the ‘rightness’ of your amma’s biases and all that - rebel with a cause and all that. But typically your type goes wrong in trying to romanticise your vision of the ‘avallam’ boyfriends as an antiodote to the biases of your parents. Most likely your avallam boyfriend either a) forced ‘lower’castes to eat off separate tumblers etc in a south TN village b) oppressed lower casts in north TN village c) is a north indian with a built in bias against ‘blackie’ ,kaaalia types(which would include most madrasis in their books). Or in other words, you are well aware of the failings of your community but when you get closer to the others, you will see that they all have similar flaws. A group gets dominant, it suppresses others - thats the reality of the world. Humans as a group have simply made other living beings secondary to themselves. Historically, brahmins were dominant in the past and they did what anyone else would have done in their place - it is in cycles therefore they will be at the receiving end soon or already in it.
BTW, I am a hostel types and have eaten off plates that might a few hours ago have server chicken to another hungry resident. But I always find “i am a progressive brahmin who wouldnt put out such notices and I have avallam boyfriends and how refreshingly nice and honest they are” types of attitude amusing because that is nowehre near truth.
(Neenga sonna serithaan sir.
P.S :All your prototypes of my then ‘avalaam’ boyfriend are off the mark)
I’ve been exposed to non-veg at home only after my marriage. Though I found it yukky in the begining, (there’s no denying the fact that meat stinks!) I gradually got used to it. So much so that I feed my son chicken paste with paruppu sadam now! (Though the actual cooking and mixing is done by someone else!)
(As Vivek would say:”Yeppadi irunda naanga yeppadi aayitom!)
padmaja maami: Narayana!! Ive heard of nandu rasam and sora puttu, aana paruppunjaathukke kozhi gothsu thottundu saapudura alavukku ulagam muththi pocha!! Irungo, 22 tharon theerthamaadeetu, veshtiya thochu kaayapottu vandhu pesuraen.
(Padu:This dude’s calling u a maami! Muhahahha!Never seen a happier day in my life!)
Scooter mama, What to do? My son runs miles from any food which involves biting and chewing.. (vegetables included!) After hearing non-stop comments from all & sundry on how skinny he is, I have to resort to such things to fatten him up!
Let me introduce myself as a ‘Avalaam’, and a once-upon-a-time-meat-eating veggie but I tend to find it hard to hate meat-eating people as much the orthodox TamBrams do. Its almost as if meat-eating is some activity that can never be condoned by any standards. And there are classic cases who are ‘ Tambram eggetarians’ and still frown on seeing meat - never understand this hypocrisy. But I tend accept the ‘Brahmins Only’ fixation partly because of the vegetarian philosophy and partly because I am used to it, at least, when I grew up(some call it tradition).
Needless to say, there are oddities in every community - this isnt the perfect world afterall. But again I need to point out that there is still a pretty majority in the ‘Avalaam’ that thinks that Brahmins need to be revered irrespective of their station in life and would consider it a privilege to be associated with them.
(I agree.Hence considering the warmth Tam Brahms receive from other communities on interpersonal levels -not on political space-that’s another story- l find it niggling when people act superior or segregate folks)
Paddu mami,
As a parent of two formerly skinny children who have come good (healthy weight now) my recommendation is to just look at the key indicator..is your child active and not listless?
If yes, you have nothing to worry about.
Let me take a deep breath before kiLapping Kontroversy now.
With all due respect to your difficulties as a parent-My view is if one wants to be honest about meat eating, you should go to the very source and look that animal in the eye when it was alive. Buying frozen shrink wrapped meat and getting it prepared by someone else does not change the fact that whoever is consuming it becomes the graveyard for a creature that (assuming it was factory farmed) led a very tortured life. The trauma of its life before being ended on an abattoir floor is another thing you need to consider.
I am assuming that the normal reasons for consuming meat (lack of knowledge, past programming, lack of compassion) don’t apply to you.
My apologies if I have offended.
No offence taken, 10yearslate!
I agree with you 100% on cruelties to animal front. I can never dream of eating meat myself because of the same reasons you’ve cited. But I happen to live with a non-veg husband whose meal isn’t complete if there’s no meat on the table. (It never bothered me when we were dating and never bothers me now!)And he feels his son cannot be deprived of the same pleasure, just because of a veggie mother…
But this chicken gotsu(thanx bikerdude, for the fantastic term!) came about when my child was so prone to cold which invariably led to wheezing. A tambrahm friend suggested I feed him chicken soup. I did it first time and found his cold vanished without a trace the next day. End of wheezing too. That was what convinced me to feed him this strange mixture of paruppusadam with chicken atleast thrice a week!
(Bappima:Noku yen sagavasam vandaamdi. First pullal unavu, now yellarum unnai maamiakitaaledi
)
looks like ur post also has the board - no offense - j/k
(Er, sir, puriyalai?)
the title of ur post has spread onto ur comments section also vaa nu kettein - looks like only brahmins in this section too
(Ah yes. No wait! I think there is an exception in no.26 who has saved my face! Phew! )
padmaja non-maami: Indha maami sahavaasathula vera yenna ellam thaligai panni saapudurael? Kindly update us on all the other apabhramsam dishes you’re cooking up, no? I find this extremely fascinating. Meen paruppusali, vaangozhi vethakozhambu, partridge pitlay, aamai aviyal - andha maadiri edhaavudhu pannaradhundo?
Scooterless mama.
Oh God! Somebody stop him!I’m dying laughing! Though it’s a nice way to go
Psst, Padu, do you think we should invite him over for lunch? Pura puttu masquerading as aval upma, yera kolambu dressed up as chepankazhangu vattakozhambu, narambu cutlet as vazhapoo vadai, pork chips as karuvadam and you-know-what as beetroot soup starter?
Methinks he’d cut and run and decline the invitation to our homes citing vandi, bedi and being scooterless to ride by!!
oye, wat happ to that poppadum post? It disappeared as i was about to comment….
(I want to stop blogging. Porum. I think I can’t afford this enjoyable addiction.I put it up, had a mind wrestle and then deleted it.)
The carnivorous jollification is nauseating and making my olfactory nerves to twitch. New Original Muniyandi Vilas may pay many here to be their consultants! Aahhhh……Tambrams are taking over everything!
(Growwlll ! We’re a couple of bleddy maamis
I’m falling for this blog
In Pune, Maharashtra, this same attitude was (and to some extent still is, although it’s not displayed so blatantly now) very common. In a way Pune is the last bastion of Brahmins in Maharashtra, although that’s fast changing.
When we were in search of a flat to rent, we liked one place and the owners were more than happy to bring down the rent for us — “a brahmin couple”. They were living next door themselves, and were all too happy to have a “marathi brahmin” neighbours. Just before we could move in, I lost my job due to layoffs, and we had to cancel that deal. They were kind enough to return the booking advance, when I explained the situation, and were very sad. When we finally visited them after a month for the check, they said they had to rent out the place to a Muslim couple. Economics rules. And that’s when I wonder if things are really changing, or just that economic compulsions are making people but there prejudices at the aside? I mean, even prejudices can be traded, right?
When we later approached a builder for buying a house, they proudly told us that, “in our society all the people are aaple (of our kind — marathi/so called high-caste, that is)”. He could do that because economics encouraged him to flaunt his prejudices so openly. And why? Because there are presumably lot of people who want to stay with aaple lok. They don’t want mixed localities. And vegetarianism has nothing to do with that. A significant proportion of Marathi Brahmins do eat/cook meat at home.
habits will die hard.
phew! almost a blog post this.
regards,
asuph
(Yeah, yeah. For myself, what a tenant eats in my flat doesn’t matter as long as he doesn’t own firearms or use it for commercial purposes than residence. A bit like the pre-Independant generation that worried that a Brahmin lost his caste when he sailed abroad.It was their excuse to mask their anxiety that their boys would do ‘mummy-daddy’ with White women and or eat meat. Remember Nehru’s Amma’s reservation over her Pandit son sailing to England? And the man had it going with Edwina right here in India while eating meat.Guhahhaha)
Guhahaha itseems. I say maami, put that popadum post no? Only maxdavinci saw it I think, lucky fellow. What addiction faddiction, afford gifford and all. Summa podu mae. Is it not?
aama eye yugari wid bykardoodh, yund tat waz yay vary tucheeng blaagpostu.
pulees put yit yup yagan…..
(BD/Maxu: Awww, you are a couple of fine fellas. I love ya’ll. Don’t spoil me)
The plant food only creed is not rooted in religious orthodoxy, but on health, compassion and most natural way of living. Some communities in India figured this out long time ago and western vegetarians propound the same values today. It is ironic that in the name of modernity many in India are adopting flesh in their kitchen. Refer also to non-Brahmin-centric literature like Thirukkural on this topic. Sage Thiruvalluvar is much tougher and clearer than our garden variety sannadi street crowd.
The environmental cost to produce animal based products can not be sustained for growing global population. Some social scientists even predict eating meat 100 years from now will be very rare in civilized societies. Take a look at how the food pyramids have evolved over the years. Many even now have tough time reconciling killing needed to put meat on the table.
On a personal note, the day I boarded the plane to U.S., my Appa who never touched meat in his life and reluctantly agreed to part with me, advised this then innocent village boy to comfortably adopt western ways of living including eating meat if necessary much to my Amma’s protests. My experience in serious spewing of the undigested British Airways food into the hand baggage while in taxi from JFK airport to my friend’s apartment in NYC is another story! Flesh is bliss, but not in dining room!
(I would whole heartedly agree with you except that I won’t allow myself to judge a non-vegetarian by his food choices.)
We agree. No judgement or justification needed.
Your Poppadams post is so disarming. It could have been written only by a good-hearted and special person.
(Ha, ha, actually I’m stone-hearted.Crunch)
[...] Purposes. Royalties accepted in cash, kind, credit card and sodexho passes. Also, do read this post on “Brahmins-only” rental policies in Chennai by [...]
Looks like I am late to this party in more ways than one. I ended up writing a post on the same topic.
But I do notice that the comment thread did digress into the to-be-expected area of the superiority of a vegetarian diet
Yash does have a point about the environmental/energy impact of animal farming being much greater than that of plant farming (unless of course Monsanto seeds are used), but I am reminded of my friend who used to say that his conscience is clear because he only eats vegetarians 
(apparently one of the definitions of halal meat).
But this whole moral/religious superiority thingie is a little questionable. Just look at our teeth and the rest of the digestive system. Homo Sapiens has evolved to be a meat eater, not a paruppu usili/paal paayasam hogger. A visit to a Tambram household to experience the post-lunch burrp orchestra will prove this point beyond all doubt.
(Huawww Burp!)
Maami,
I agree with you about discriminating between Avaallaam for simple things such as renting houses. However, everything you have described about the tenants having done, had nothing to do with the fact that they were “Brahmins”. Not paying rent, relocation and superstitions could have just as easily emanated from “the others” as they did from your brahmin tenants. Hence, if you had used better polemics to support your arguments, I would have accepted your claims as being valid. Unfortunately, from the way you have presented your case, my logical mind refuses to agree with you, at least not yet.
(That’s the point. Bad tenant behaviour has nothing to do with caste or being vegetarian or eating meat- all of us are capable of follies and erring whatever be our standing in life.Feel free to disagree.
As a Non Resident Tamilian, I often used the words - ‘Avaa’, ‘Avaalaam’, ‘Avaathula’ for referring to any third person during conversation with anyone in Chennai last year… I never knew that some of my colleagues concluded that I was an Iyer with usage of the words.
my paati used to say- ( Avaalum ‘Namblava’ thaan ) ..
(She never spoke a truer word)
“For myself, what a tenant eats in my flat doesn’t matter as
long as he doesn’t own firearms ”
Speak for yourself - this doesnt mean that everyone should accept with you. Just whats your theory: (or Krish Ashok, yours)
1. Anyone objecting to meat being cooked in *his* flat/hosue is
a) Religious/Casteist bigot
b) Hypocritical idiot who doesnt know that plants have life, too
c) Abnormal human being
d) Closet Brahmin-superiorist
Doesnt it occur to you that it can be out of plain aversion to meat-eating? No? Tthought so. Afterall , whats more cooler than being a brahmin and bashing brahmins - that shows how unique and idealistic and different and ‘pure’ right?
If something thats funnier than Brahmins’ veiled attempts to ‘ask teh caste of the other’, which resulted in a enjoyable, funny post from KA, it is the ‘wannabe-avalllam’ stuff from people like you.
I am sorry you are not cool. You are as uncool as Ambi mama.
(This blog is To-Let:Uncool, avalaam-wannabe Ambi mamaas only!)
Personally, I have never been in this situation, but I find it innately unjust to discriminate like this. I am vegetarian, managed to remain one after two years in a country were they eat everything from snails to horses (read France). Maybe its just me, but seeing a “Brahmins Only” board reminds me of apartheid era south Africa with boards that warned that Dogs and Blacks were not allowed. Simply unacceptable. That said, there is nothing I can do. My mum would probably agree with yours, seeing as she is as Bram as Bram can get…not me though…one avalaam b/f and host of I-eat-everything-I-can-find friends changes a person rather a lot…
(My soul sistah, I have a doubt:How do you reconcile this ‘vegetarian writ preserving sanctity of the house’ when TamBrahms become tenants abroad and reside in homes of White avalaam that would have seen cooking of stuff like pork, beef, frog legs soup and lobsters and spilt the juice and guts over the hobs? )
Maami (In response to your response to Sister Amrutha’s response): Whaaat I say that much also you dont knowa? Dissolve off one lump fresh dung in 4 pints of water and sprinkle all over hob. Full past sins will be automatically mitigated off. My namdeva paati’s cure for everything (resulting in a black smudge on the hallroom floor after 30 years of continuous dining on it)
BTW, full popularity of India post this is no? 47 comments and all.
(Gmmmhssssshehe. Notoreity? Yes.Popularity? Naah!)
10yearslate “With all due respect to your difficulties as a parent-My view is if one wants to be honest about meat eating, you should go to the very source and look that animal in the eye when it was alive.”
I eat meat and love it, I have looked the animal in the eye and slit its throat by my own hands…. And i have no issues
what a dumb logic, why dont you go and cry over all the flora that you are destroying.. making paper, homes and furniture..
“Eggeterians” Eggs are vegeterian… no one sells fertilized eggs fopr heaven sake.. now that would be disgusting.. I guess most people think that any egg can hatch a chick!!
(One man’s meat is another man’s poison.And I have been irresponsible enough not to put out a follow-up article on vegetarianism! Sigh! )
Once I had a roommate here in the US. This guy is from a very orthodox TamBram family and had actually lied to them that his roommates were also Brahmin.
Apparently they had insisted that he stay with only ‘nammaval’
(Naan kadal kadandu porenda pa)
(Ko)nkan (Bra)hmin = KoBra
(No)n (Bra)hmin = ????
(Abracadabra)
The social sins of the pre-1940s Tambrahms and political sins of the post-1967 policies (there have been exceptions in both cases) have resulted in current sorry state. There was no equal opportunity in pre-independence days and definitely they do not exist today. Economically and socially discrimination has been institutionalized in disguise. It is possible to keep one’s individuality alive in an equal opportunity society. Bharathi’s dreams will one day come true!
That said the devolution of the recent posts in this thread is discouraging!
Sanctity of the house has nothing to do with ‘acharam’ concept. One has to get over the physical aspects of ‘theettu’ mentality and ‘thodathe’ attitude and look at the inner sanctity. Every one has imperfection and creating sanctuaries for introspection is a good thing. If thoughts of God come to you when you enjoy a good scotch, there is no sin. But you will be violating the sacredness if you go to a temple with Black Label in hand. Home is what you make of it and not what you inherit physically.
Here is an honest ‘maami’ question: If you prefer not to have a neighbor with a firearm, how comfortable will you be in hearing the distressing call of an innocent animal when someone in the neighboring apartment take pleasure in ‘looking at an animal in the eye and slitting its throat’ by his/her own hands?
Thiruvalluvar to Emerson……Bharathi to Paul McCartney have gone through compassion based soul searching to our benefit!
On a lighter note: If you read the DK literature, ‘Avaalam’ is a code for ‘Namblava’!
Krishashok,
If you believe humans evolved from apes, we are evolving to be herbivorous just like most of the apes. Human anatomy is closer to herbivores. Lots of data available in this area.
Limited planet capacity of ours will only make natural selection work towards herbivorous evolution!
I am going to say sorry on a couple of counts here.
By my responding to individual comments the intent of the post could have been diverted. And it comes out looking more like a veggie vs non veg war.
The intent of this post is not to talk about the virtues of individual food choices and how it can form the basis on how we judge or dismiss people.That’s a popular war and I’m sure there are competant bloggers to take that forward.
Eating preferences alone do not elevate a people morally.(Beautiful line in R.K.Narayan’s Swami and Friends- Faced with insults about Hindu Gods Swami questions his missionary teacher:’If Jesus was a God, why did he eat meat or drink wine?’ As a Brahmin boy it was inconceivable to Swami that God could be a non vegetarian’.)
My post is about the guilt I feel about a board that is blatantly segregational and humiliating in its caste connotations. I think a few people have responded precisely to that uncomfortable thought.
Is it because the first man to object to discriminating and segregating signboards was a Gujarati Bania and his call became the anthem for leaders like Luther King, but alas not for his countrymen who continue many years after him to hang such discriminating boards or advertise in that manner?
Food, culture, language, community and tradition are all intertwined.And our cultural identity is a powerful one and it rests on one or many of these tenets. Ghettos may be the bastions of community dwelling but the sad truth is they were historically imposed and ordained by people who were ’superior’ upon the less fortunate.
No amount of abuse or name calling will stop me from saying that hanging such a board is wrong.
1. Having separate tumblers for diff. castes is wrong. If we apply this criteria, half of tamil nadu can be marked as derogatory, discriminatory , base individuals.
2. Calling a South Indian a Kallu, Kaalia with obvious derogatory intention is wrong - btw, I am not one so dont attribute psychological reasons for this. If we apply this criteria, 90% of Punjab can be marked as derogatory, discriminatory , base.
3. Calling someone from north east chinku is base. This will practically mark 70% India as, what else, derogatory, discriminatory , base
Eventually, we can go on and establish that 90% of the world would be full of individuals who are derogatory, discriminatory , base. (i.e.) What you accuse your mom of, most other people in the world are the same. Even you and Krish Ashok. Only, you dont hang those specific boards. You are no better than your mom, just look into your mind , you will see similar biases in your mind. If you dare to examine your ‘beautiful mind’, you would be no different from your mom - only, it so happens that your life took you to meat-eating, non-brahminic avenues - good for you, you learnt the virtues of tolerance(w.r.t meat eating), but that doesnt mean you inhabit an exalted plane compared to your mom.
(And you, are not reading my discriminatory board to-let: `Beautiful minds only)
maami: to draw this discussion back to the non-serious and satirical track it started in, I agree with Bickerdude… a mixture of Gomeyam should do the trick
Truce!
It looks like I grew up in the same era but in a very different environment. I grew up among progressive ideologues of DK/DMK. In my place ‘Brahmins Only’ sign would have been vandalized; tenancy would have been scandalized and living there would have become untenable. I also have never seen an advertisement (other than matrimonial ads by all castes) that specifies caste. But I have seen whisper campaign to filter the tenants. Never overtly due to social compulsions.
But a sin is a sin. I can not agree with you more on the contempt on exclusivity: the valueless orthodoxy. It is vulgar, offensive and immoral. Thankfully the changing social doctrine is inculcating change in attitude. My only beef is while throwing out the tradition devoid of moral obligations one should not become obsequious sycophants to embrace things that are in conflict with his/her own core values. That’s why honest ‘maami’ question is pertinent.
Thanks for brining in Mahatma to the rescue! He insisted on range of values with seemingly inbuilt conflicts: Equality of all communities, ahimsa/vegetarianism etc. These are not any different from values espoused by our own Rajaji. May be that’s why Acharya could get his daughter married to a Bania. The alliance was based on values & love and not based on convenience of caste. They have shown the way.
Thus the village lad withdrew from the war room and looked forward to an evening of wine, love, rest and relaxation……
Brilliant capture of the brahminical life - both in the Yechumi paatti article and this. Your writing has a strange quality of going back and forth between slight humor and deep disturbing thoughts. Came here from Krishashok’s blog. Enjoyed thoroughly.
BTW, it touched a nerve because I could identify a lot with the article. Tirunelveli, Tamirabarani, orthodox iyer household, vegetarianism, and.. a “yechumi” paatti who unfortunately was widowed and 28 (had children b4 that but) and lived till 95. I had long been thinking of writing an article in these lines myself, but it seems unnecessary after your heartwarming and candid capture.
(nandri)
My parents are strict vegetarian TamBrams, who made sure me and my sister started eating meat (next door neighbour was Christian) when we were very young! This was a result of my dad travelling to Europe a lot back in the 70s, where he had no veggie options.
I am married to a Chettiar who grew up eating meat at home, but when we went to China, I ate everything that was served, but he had all sorts of reservations.
My philosophy is if you are not a strict veggie then you should eat anything that moves (other than humans)
(Chomp, chomp, chew, chew)
From some of the observations of Yash…
Betraying my ignorance here, however has anyone analysed the DK/DMK literature from a Brahminical perspective or have we as a community just pulled up the moat and snorted down on this corpus of work?
Until I read some of the more seminal books of Karunanidhi or Ramaswami Naicker and draw my own conclusions, maybe a critique of their works could be rendered by Yash.
Or indeed maami.
it would be interesting to know if their work will stand up to the scrutiny of time.
(There are enough people who have and continue to analyse the seminal works of both Manu’s and DK’s treatises and whether they are both past their sell-date. Often old ideas get renegotiated, renewed, or dismissed according to contemporary needs, consensus or battles. Since the Crusades, Christianity was seen as a ‘converting’ religion by those who were at its receiving end and indeed cannot forgive them for old wounds; during the Holocaust the world had its support for the Jewish people;today if you ask any Islamist nation, they might have another opinion. I’ve said this elsewhere before, the blogworld has enough debates on this popular issue, but I’m not to-let this space for that. You could make your own verdicts, why wait for mine indeed? I’m no Samson).
yeah, right. Self-rigtheous, holier-than-thou you have a beautiful mind. Well, atleast you see one of your discriminatory boards. Look further - you may find a 1000.
And I repeat, if you are guilty about your mother, just do a little bit of research on your avallam-bf’s ‘beautiful mind’. You’ll find plenty to feel guilty about there, too.
well! yes it is a LOT better, but still not gone away completely! when we were looking to rent a ghar for us, we did come across no non-vegeterians thing! i mean i am bramhin and non-veg!! so even if i pass 50%, i fail the rest!
in anycase, it didnt happen too often! tho my pals (muslims) did have lot of trouble finding house in Mumbai as well just last year!
so things could still do with some improvement!!
lovely post!
(With a rising culture of offendedness, the improvements will take time)
Coming here from Krish Ashok’s blog. Nicely written & the commenting-inside-of-each-comment is good too!
Strange that no one seems to note of how the current veg-only Brahmanism came to be. A recent article that deals with the subject.
(Had mentioned Vedic eating habits fleetingly early on)
Raj,
I am a little confused. Are you saying that maami must not criticize the “Brahmins only” board because our generation has its own form of bigotry, and therefore calling the older generation on theirs is wrong?
came accross this post, and its comments, through krish ashok’s blog…………
just thought that this piece wriiten by rajaji needed to be posted here..
DEVIATIONS FROM TRADITION
MUST change be chaotic? Must we always throw away the good things with the bad?
Of course, not. There cannot be any difference of opinion on this. Yet in practice we see the wisdom disregarded. We do not see young people do the right thing in this regard. We see around us in the South that along with necessary social reform, good and healthy austerity practices which were traditional among significantly large communities are being given up by increasing numbers of young men and women. The desired abolition of caste distinctions has not yet happened; but even before that consummation, several good, age-long disciplines are being given up on a pretty large scale. Take the Brahmins and the ‘Saivites’. (In upper and western India ‘Vaishnavites’ are strict vegetarians, but in the South it is ‘Saivam’, which means strict vegetarianism outside the Brahmin fold.) The Saivite Vellalas and Brahmins have for ages strictly abstained from all kinds of meat, all forms of liquor, and from smoking. Not only have they been for generations observing very strict hygienic discipline as to daily ablutions and the cleanliness of personal wear, but they have been also vegetarians and teetotallers, and abstained from all forms of smoking. But now young men among these communities have begun to smoke and set a bad example. Many among them imbibe alcohol and eat meat if not in their homes, in other places. The educated and the wealthy, and those who have been fortunate enough to get good jobs in government services or commercial firms, are the first to start these deviations from past tradition and to throw away the healthy inheritance of generations of practice and initiate laxity among others.
Dear young men, if you wish to help the abolition of caste, do so by all means, inter-marry. There is legal provision for this open and straightforward attack on caste. There is no other way to abolish caste. If you do not believe in rituals or deem them too much of a burden, or that they involve expenditure which you desire to save, by all means give them up. But why should you smoke cigarettes, why should you drink wine or whisky, why should you add mutton or beef or chicken or fish to your diet? Be catholic in your outlook, mix with everyone and spurn superstition, but why give up good disciplines that have come down from generations and have thereby become automatic and easy? How much other nations would give to achieve these same disciplines which, by reason of family habit, you have come to inherit and find it as easy to conform to as to speak the mother-tongue ! You do not realize this and throw away these advantages for nothing at all. A thing can be broken and demolished easily enough but reconstruction is most difficult. What is it you do it for? For the slightest fleeting pleasure, really not worth a tenth of what the discipline is worth.
The abstention from meat, alcohol and smoking enjoined by the custom of your sect is a most precious inheritance. It is a valuable example to other communities and a potent means thereby for national service. Once you take to smoking or to alcohol or meat, you will not afterwards find it easy to give it up.
Let not what is good be looked upon as a dividing wall but as a power for service, for further extending that good practice among others. Do not give up the hygienic communal practices that have found implicit and automatic acceptance for generations unnumbered, among rich and poor, and educated and uneducated among certain groups, in a manner unique in the world. These should be matters for pride though not for arrogance, and should not be the first casualties in social change. Let us abolish caste but not throw away healthy practices.
The comfort or pleasure we get from certain habits is not worth the national loss. It is very painful to an addict to give up smoking or drinking. That, however, does not mean that it is a great pleasure that he derives from smoking or drinking. It is not good logic to equate the difficulty to give up what one has not addicted to, with utility. I appeal to the young not to allow themselves carelessly to be caught in the trap and grow into this addiction. I am not preaching to the addict. He knows the harm but cannot escape from it. I appeal to the young officials in government and in commercial and industrial concerns who are not yet addicted, not to lose the inheritance that has devolved on them from their parents and grandparents, which no government can confiscate or put a tax upon.
My young friends, you have a high mission, On you rests the work of bringing about a great moral change in the nation. You have to get people to hate dishonesty and greed. Do not, undermine your inherited equipment to lead such a spiritual evolution.
September 13, 1958 Swarajya
(Thank you for sharing this)
Madhu Srinivas,
Thanks for the Rajaji piece. They are exactly my thoughts.
Krish Ashok, no. How can I say that? It’s her blog anyway
All I am saying is that when you turn around and feel guilty for your mother’s ‘attitude’ and how ‘bad’ these brahmin elders are with their prejudices, you should be aware that your mother is a product of her times and environment. If you had the same upbringing(and environ, you will *probably* have the same prejudices.(which can be proven by the fact, if you examine, you will find that you have your own prejudices which are the product of your environment). So, there is no need to feel guilty about your ‘mother’ or other ‘brahmin elders’. And there is absolutely no rationale in connecting non-meat-eating to non-liberal or vice versa. There is a strong subtle current in this post and that is that, oh look at us, we young Brahmins who eat meat, we are so liberal whereas the older generation and some hung up peers of us who don’t eat meat are so prejudiced. I am sure you, Krish Ashok, see the stupidity in that.
(In Mumbai, a certain minority community find it difficult to rent/buy houses, you know which community of course, and housing societies pretty much hang “No houses for this particular community’ boards. A lot of people who do this are meat-eating non-brahmins.
There is no direct relation between meat-eating and libertarianism - Of course, I don’t think you needed this stated to you but I feel maami(and her friends here) do need this stated explicitly for them to understand it – given their almost card-carrying enthusiasm in flaunting their non-vegetarian habits and subtle hints that that makes them better human beings and their romanticisation of their meat-eating boy friends, girl friends, whatever– how laughable and I know you, as a person who can see humour in anything, will see my point, though unfortunately, I lack your facility for humorous expression). Again, its fine that you eat meat and can live with meat nearby or in your house all but dont expect everyone to subscribe to that. There is a difference between eating in a hostel plate(which hours before had dead chicken on it) and feeling comfy about that being done in your house(which eventually you hope, will be a place where you reside). When I have the choice, why should I not exercise it, especially when I have compromised when I didnt have that choice of getting away from the meat remnant plates?
Reading all of this post and the comments, it seems to me there is a sub-section of younger Brahmins who feel that meat-eating makes them libertarian, free-thinking apostles of ‘truth’ and ‘justice’. Well, at least I can figure from your blog that you, Krish Ashok, are intelligent enough not to fall into that trap. I cannot say the same of maami and her ‘meat-eating’ friends who have commented on this post here.
Heck, I am verbose, ain’t I? Let me also try a simpler answer to your question: It is not the criticizing of that board that irritates me, or even the lack of criticism of other forms of discrimination that exists in the society(which wouldn’t be reasonable because you don’t have to put in a laundry list of criticisable offences when condemning one offence) but the subtle irrational connection between meat-eating and libertarianism that seems to pervade ,the minds of some people here. Perhaps, I could sum up by saying I feel the same way towards such tendencies and people as they feel about their mothers, who do not live up to their standards of liberalism.
btw, KA, I must say I enjoyed your post on the same topic.
Raj saarey: you need to start an anti-anti-anti-anti-tambrahm blog of your own.
KA: Your fan club has spread so far and wide that the comments space in your own blog is now insufficient. You need to start a comments to the comments in my comments blog of your own.
Bikerdude: You need to start a “get a life instead of commenting on the comments to the comments in the comments of someone else’s blog” blog of your own.
Maami: You’re alright. Sleep, sleep.
(The valium has put me to sleep. Keep your comments in BD, they keep us awake)
vegetarianism is personal.displaying a board is public.whether to display a personal lifestyle option,in a way that might hurt public sensibilities is the question.looked at this way the answer is clear.
(Thank you sir)
I found a link to this blog from my dashboard, and have immensely enjoyed reading your stuff.
I have many Tamil Brahmin friends and have eaten off the same plate with many of them. Some of them did not have even a trace of the kind of thing (Avalaam consciousness) you have been discussing here. Of course, this would not have been true of others in their homes. We non Brahmins wash our plates and tiffin boxes, you know, and good soap takes away all traces of yesterday’s food. Actually, this kind of familiarity would not be initiated from my side, but theirs, which is good.
But some brahmin customs are quite . . . well, interesting. Like the time I went to the house of the mami downstairs to offer my condolences because she had recently lost her grown son. She asked me to sit down while she prepared some coffee for me. I tried to tell her that I did not feel like coffee at all. But she would not listen, and came to me repeatedly and told me not to come to the kitchen. When she came back with the coffee, she forced me to drink every drop, saying that it would be bad not to. When I narrated this episode to another Tamil Brahmin neighbour, she and everyone else in her house were in splits at my discomfiture. Of course in their house, I could do whatever I wanted (when the grandmother was not home).
Maybe the best way for your readers to relax about these things is to avoid restricting friendships to one’s own community and go out and meet other groups.
Being a bit awkward about non vegetarianism is perfectly understandable but one could use it as an excuse for unhealthy attitudes.
All human beings suffer from this in some form or other. I live in a western country and see white people struggling with similar problems when they see Indians. I have seen older folk in my family in India struggling to cope when my maid sits in the living room with me. We all struggle with it and try to outgrow it. At the same time, we must be patient with those who are not that strong as yet.
Keep writing.
(Cheers)
By that logic, maami, segragation based on smoking habits is also “blatantly segregational and humiliating”.
Wouldnt you agree to that too?
(If you see logic in equating segregation based on caste, creed and community and designating smoking areas for communal health, I’ve nothing to add.)
It all boils down to individual preferences. There is nothing wrong with preferring brams only or avalaam only, as long as unfair means are not used. If brams and avalaams can mix well, thats fine. If not, that is fine too, as long as one set does not gain unfair advantage over the other. At the end of the day, economic needs and capacity will determine whether the preferences can be sustained. Why is there so much irritation when an individual renting out his/her property prefers brams only or avalaam only, when the govt., which is supposed to act for public good, promotes massive ‘avaalam only’ policy even when the avalaam people might be obsecenely rich and well connected not to require ‘avalaam only’ help?